Puns

I heard Kobe was writing a book about helicopters, but it just wouldn't land with people...

I know, I'm going to hell!

Adding a "gl" in front of "camping" doesn't make it any better.

If you add a "gl" in front of "Adolf Hitler," it doesn't make him a great guy.

That is a "Penny-Farthing" bicycle. Dimes if you feed it beans.

Why did the banana go to the doctor?

Because he wasn't peeling very well!

Get confused with Confucius!

Where did Johnny go after he wandered into a minefield?

Everywhere.

My parents said to me, "Whenever you say sorry to someone and they say, 'It's okay,' it's really not."

So I said, "Okay."

I've just started a new business making people breathe in large amounts of helium. They all speak very highly of it.

I wonder if the sun is going to rise every morning. Then it dawns on me.

Why did the teddy bear say no to dessert?

Because she was stuffed.

Why does the large dildo not have any friends?

He's a pain in the ass.

Emo t-shirt:

"EXISTENCE IS FUTILE."

I'm Clueless.

By M. T. Head.

The History of the Star Spangled Banner. By Jose Cannusee.

I went on a one in a lifetime vacation. Never again!

Why does Ms. Mushroom 🍄 go out with Mr. Mushroom 🍄?

Because he’s a fungi.

What did the girl say to the man with a moustache?

I moustache you a question.

I wish everyone spoke to each other the way God did.

As the car crashed, someone said, "I see a light!"

Your spelling is more morbid than any of these jokes.