Q. You know what really bugs me?
A. Insect puns.
Puns
Why are birds good at social media?
Because they "tweet" all the time!?
I guess this is pretty plane.
I am sorry I am just winging it.
Wow, I guess these jokes haven't taken off.
Wow, I just landed that one!
What did the mechanic say to the other mechanic when he broke the car?
"How will we wrench ourselves out of this?"
I made a joke about unemployed people. It didn’t work.
Yeoooo.
Who do you call to clean up foul language?
A cuss-todian!
Why did the duck get arrested? For selling quack.
Boy, you gay?
I was arrested for eating too much crack on accident. How?
My sister came into my room shoving her ass in my face.
What's a car's favorite place to hang out?
A CARnival!
Yesterday I went to a lightbulb party, and it was lit.
A cow is at his friend's house for a sleepover party. Sadly, all of the beds are taken. Where does the cow sleep?
On the COWch (couch).
I know people don’t really like cat puns, but mine are PURRety good.
Did you CATch that one? No? Because you are in a bad mood? You should WISKER those feelings away. We should PAWnder ways to fix your mood. Just remember to keep CLAWing at the problem. I am glad I can help MEW.
Once I had a cat. The cat liked human beverages.
One day I decided to throw a party. The cat went over to get some soda. There was a line. I told him that he needed to wait in line. The line was too long for the cat. Then he walked to the punch bowl. He saw that there was no punch line. Very much like this joke.
Once my cat was playing video games. I was OVERWATCHing him.
I asked him to PAWS the game. He then hissed at me. I was surprised; he usually has a good PURRsonality. He said he YARNED to play the game.
What was the doctor's diagnosis on a dinosaur with a low sex drive? Teraerectile dysfunction.
Why do people eat bananas? Because it's a-peeling!
Today was a bad day. There was a man throwing butter and cheese at me, how dairy!
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Water.
Water who?
Water you waiting for, just let me in!
