Puns
Person 1: Stop making suicidal jokes!
Person 2: Okay, okay, I’ll cut it out.
Person 1: Really?
Person 2: They're not even that deep.
5+2 = 7
But 4+3 also = 7
So take your own path.
Police arrested two kids yesterday. One was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks. They charged one, and let the other one off.
Did you hear about the man that got fired from his can job? It was soda-pressing.
Why was the Koala Bear so clever?
Because he had good koalifications!
What type of lettuce did they serve on the Titanic? - Iceberg.
Seven days without a pun makes one weak.
My friend told me she had a good joke and it beat all mine. I said, "Haha, that is funny!"
I got a reversible jacket for Christmas, I can't wait to see how it turns out.
What do you call a depressed tree?
A wood cutter.
A goat drank my Red Bull, so now it's a Baphomet!
What did the hurricane say to the coconut tree?
Hold on to your nuts; this ain’t no ordinary blow job.
I would have told you a cheesy pun, but it was too cheesy. *picks up cheeses*
Don't drink and park.
Accidents cause people.
What is the one kind of work orphans don’t know? Homework.
The wedding was so emotional, even the cake was in tiers.
Why did Bob go to the store? To bob for apples.
Two kids are out in the cold, with downpours of snow erupting from the clouds.
One of the kids says something: "Can we build a snowman that is going through puberty?"
The other kid says something else: "Yes. It sounds cool."
After a while, the snowman was finished, and some words jut out of the first kid's mouth: "Wow! Look at that snowman! It's got hair all over, but I think it's missing something though."
The other kid jumps a little and begins speaking: "Oh, I know what it is!"
After a while, a body part made of a carrot and two cucumbers appears on the snowman's crotch. It is a penis and a ballsack.
The first kid speaks: "Icy what you did there."
The other kid replies: "Good thing I didn't slip up there."
The first kid replies: "Well, that's snow problem."
The other kid then uttered this: "These puns would make the most frigid individual crack up."
The first kid then says: "I know, right?"
They then begin a snowball fight.
The other kid then says: "Only the men have snowballs!"
Random person: "What's one thing your ex gave you that you can't get rid of?"
Man: *Shows a picture of his child.*
You need to play a B flat, not a C sharp, you just got band!