Genie: You can only have 3 wishes.
Man: I wish for more wishes.
Genie: You can’t wish for more wishes.
Man: I wish I could.
Genie: ......
How do you organize a space party?
You planet.
Josh Hemus - follow him on Instagram @joshhemus
President Joseph Biden said during the first presidential debate of the 2024 presidential election that he does not debate as well as he used to. Mr. Biden also can't think as well as he used to either, but then again when Mr. Biden was a United States senator in the state of Delaware he never could think because thinking was never one of his strengths and that is the reason why Mr. Biden became President Obama's vice president in the first place.
Oh well, that's politics.
You know bins????
They're trash!
Yourself.
So I was making slime, so I put glue, and a lil' pump of lotion and slime activator. Ahah, lil pump, get it?
To the people who have seen "Meet The Fockers" at the movies and they hated it, Fock You, Motherfockers!
I sucked a dick.
I have a son. Her name is Zara.
I also have a dad. Her name is Lydia.
What do people say when they're fighting?
"Water!"
Wanna hear a joke?
Your outfit. Har har!
Gay shit.
If we can't see air, can fish see water?
Where do kittens go on a field trip?
The meowseum.
The waiter recommended the rug meal.
She said it was delicious, but it's a tassle to make.
Mankind is made of 2 words: Mank and ind.
I was talking to my friends and they said a random topic about cats, and I'm like, "Water you talking about?" =3
"Wanna hear a joke?"
"Sure."
"You SURE will be glad when this dad joke's over."
"That was pretty DAD!"
Why don't Jedis make puns that often?
They usually have to force them. (I hate myself for that!)
