Puns

What's the fastest cake? Scone!

You could say Japanese car fans and ancient Egyptians are alike—they both worship Datsun.

What did one bear reply to his bad pun?

"Bear with me!"

I would make a joke about your sister, but she banged me.

How did I kill Georgee?

I snatched her boat! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!!!!!!

How does the Eskimo make a house of cards?

Igloos it.

How do you organize a space party?

You planet.

Genie: You can only have 3 wishes.

Man: I wish for more wishes.

Genie: You can’t wish for more wishes.

Man: I wish I could.

Genie: ......

Josh Hemus - follow him on Instagram @joshhemus

You know bins????

They're trash!

Yourself.

So I was making slime, so I put glue, and a lil' pump of lotion and slime activator. Ahah, lil pump, get it?

To the people who have seen "Meet The Fockers" at the movies and they hated it, Fock You, Motherfockers!

I sucked a dick.

I have a son. Her name is Zara.

I also have a dad. Her name is Lydia.

Wanna hear a joke?

Your outfit. Har har!

What do people say when they're fighting?

"Water!"

Gay shit.

Where do kittens go on a field trip?

The meowseum.

I made a joke about unemployed people. It didn’t work.