Puns

After all the mudslides in the area, the streets became a mudder out there.

Why do people eat bananas? Because it's a-peeling!

I joke about 9/11 because if I did it, it would have a tendency to crash and burn.

What do you call the 10th hole on a military golf course?

Ten-putt!

Don't you hate it when you sit on your balls? It's a real nutcracker!

I went into a forest with my sharp laptop with F13. Now I'm a real HACKER.

I'd make a farming joke, but I'm just a little less than corny enough.

I don't know what to say.

Let's taco about something.

A bass drum is the boss.

Jake Paul's life:

What did the policeman say to his belly button?

You're under a vest!

Have you heard about my new can crushing job?

It's soda-pressing.

What do you call Anne born in May? A Maybe.

Me: Hi Kallen.

Kallen: Hi.

Me: You're too big to fit in my car.

If a kid does not go to sleep during nap time, isn't he resisting a rest?

My brother and I were roughhousing and accidentally knocked over our bookshelf. My mom came in and started asking who knocked it over, to which I replied that I only had my shelf to blame.

Hey, can I axe you a question?

My brother likes to build "traps" to capture our cat so he can pet it. I said it wasn't gonna catch anyone, he replied with "not going to stop who?" I told him not to worry that it could capture any two.

What's the fastest cake? Scone!

You could say Japanese car fans and ancient Egyptians are alike—they both worship Datsun.

Josh Hemus - follow him on Instagram @joshhemus