Puns
Why do people eat bananas? Because it's a-peeling!
weixian
Someone asked the former 2016 presidential candidate Hillary Clinton why she lost the 2016 presidential election to Donald John Trump, and the former 2016 presidential candidate Hillary Clinton said, "Because someone asked her what she would do for a Klondike Bar?"
Me: Hi Kallen.
Kallen: Hi.
Me: You're too big to fit in my car.
Do you think the founder of Dunlop was a retired tree surgeon or a hairdresser?
Why did 6 hate 7?
Because 7 ate 9!
I went into a forest with my sharp laptop with F13. Now I'm a real HACKER.
A bass drum is the boss.
What did the policeman say to his belly button?
You're under a vest!
Jake Paul's life:
I'd make a farming joke, but I'm just a little less than corny enough.
I don't know what to say.
Don't you hate it when you sit on your balls? It's a real nutcracker!
Let's taco about something.
What do you call the 10th hole on a military golf course?
Ten-putt!
Have you heard about my new can crushing job?
It's soda-pressing.
What do you call Anne born in May? A Maybe.
Eggshausted.
If a kid does not go to sleep during nap time, isn't he resisting a rest?
My brother and I were roughhousing and accidentally knocked over our bookshelf. My mom came in and started asking who knocked it over, to which I replied that I only had my shelf to blame.
Hey, can I axe you a question?
My brother likes to build "traps" to capture our cat so he can pet it. I said it wasn't gonna catch anyone, he replied with "not going to stop who?" I told him not to worry that it could capture any two.