Puns
Yesterday I made food using oil--olive oil.
(I love oil!)
People wonder why our generation grew up so sarcastic.
"Hey, how do I look?"
"With your eyes, Joe."
Notice on a shoe repair shop: I’ll heel you, I’ll save your sole, I’ll even gladly dye for you.
This website!
I had the best butterfingers yesterday.
I dropped it.
What happens when a pun isn’t funny?
It gets PUNished.
Chimmy: (smoking because of fireplace)
Chimmy2: You're too young to smoke.
How did Jesus like his chicken?
Crucifried.
Orange: Hey.
Pear: Hey.
Orange: No hay!
What should you use to battle a T-Rex?
A dino-sword.
Thanks for explaining the word "many" to me.
It means a lot!
What do you call a fish that can use a katana? A salmon-rai.
Why do tables never need wheelchairs? Because even without the ‘t’ they are still able.
Sup?
Star Wars jokes:
Qui-Gon Chin, Mace Chindo, Chinbakka, Darth Chinious, Anachin Skywalker.
What do you call a short person that goes to school?
A Sammie.
Mmmm, bread. I love Panera Bread.
This is unrelated, but where I live, there is no Panera Bread. Y'know what that's called?
No Panera Bread.
What do you call a dinosaur with a butt?
A Butt-asaurus.
What is the one kind of work orphans don’t know? Homework.
I'm a teacher at a high school, but I got fired. They told me I didn't do any work even though I always did a skele-ton.