Puns
Laugh.
What do you call a Portuguese who commits a crime in Las Vegas?
Consensual Rapper 7.
What did the panther say at the Poker Party? "I would be lion if I said I was a cheetah."
What do you do if you're ever attacked by a gang of clowns?
Go for the juggler!
Your mum!
What's the difference between 5 cocks and a joke? I can't take a joke.
A father and son duo are sitting at a table, eating breakfast. The father looks at the child and says, "I'm hungry." The child looks at the father and replies, "Hi Hungry, I'm Son." The father calls his father and asks why he was named Hungry.
I don't like making Kobe jokes... they always crash and burn.
I was asked to give a bicycle joke, but I couldn't...
I was two tired.
Q: What did Tim say when his girlfriend fell down a rabbit hole?
A: Hole-y shit!
The man was absolutely delighted to find that every lamp in his house was stolen.
Bob: Kanye West.
Dad: No, but I can East.
What was the epileptic chef’s house special?
Seizure salad.
I love escalator jokes. There's not too many steps.
Why do leaves change color in the fall?
Because they want to leaf their old color.
"Why don't you want to taco 'bout it?"
"Cause I'm nacho friend anymore."
Q: How do you get a squirrel to like you? A: Act like a nut! 😂
Q: Why don't eggs tell jokes? A: Because they'd crack each other up.
Son: Dad, can you put my shoes on? Dad: No, son, I don't think they would fit me.
I'm on a seafood diet. When I see food, I eat it.
I used to hate facial hair, but then it grew on me.
I wondered why the pitcher hadn’t pitched the ball yet.
Then it hit me.
I dropped my phone the other day when a guy picked up my phone and started to put it in his pocket.
I said, "Hey, that's my phone," and he said, "First of all, my name isn't 'Hey', it's Jay. Second of all, it's an iPhone, not a 'myPhone'. Get it right."
What do you call a Greek necrophiliac?
Con Fuckacarcass.