Puns
Ok, I put one penny down. Do you smell anything?
1 scent.
I put two pennies down. Do you see any fruit?
2 pears.
I put three pennies down. Do you see any law enforcement?
3 coppers.
I put four pennies down. Do you see any cars?
4 Lincolns.
I put five pennies down. Do you see any pussies?
NOT FOR 5 CENTS YOU DONT!
I sleep in a castle once every 2 weeks.
It's my fort knight.
Fun fact: Toasters were originally called tanning breads!
You can lead a horse to water, but a pencil must be lead.
What do you call a pile of cats? A MEOW-tain.
Maybe I’ll be Tracer.
I’m already Tracer!
My mom tells me to stop with the suicide jokes, and I replied with, "It's not that deep."
What's the difference between broccoli & boogers?
People don't eat their broccoli.
What's a bull's favorite body part?
An eye-BULL!
Are we supposed to submit jokes?
This website.
Also, how did Trump's wall let this website in?
You know what’s odd?
Every other number.
Do you know Warrior Cats?
I heard Hawkfrost is cold.
How do you knockout an unorthodox blue tooth?
You get a good connection.
No, you!
I can change a "t" into a "p," just drink it and wait a few hours.
Did you hear about the book about gravity? I couldn’t put it down.
What’s a sheep’s favorite song?
"Baby Don’t Herd Me."
A guy walks up to me in the street and asks if you have to include the name of an animal in every sentence. I said only if it's relephant.
He says what about vegetables. I said not nesecelery.
I went to the store, and yeah...
What did chemical 1 say to chemical 2?
"I think you're overreacting."