Puns
Dad: You’re looking pretty sheepish.
Son: That’s too baaaaaad!
What did the cell phone say to his wife?
"I will give you a ring."
Here's a list of puns, not all of them are mine.
1. Smaller babies may be delivered by stork, but the heavier ones need a crane.
2. Yesterday, I accidentally swallowed some food coloring. The doctor says I’m okay, but I feel like I’ve dyed a little inside.
3. My sister bet that I couldn’t build a car out of spaghetti. You should’ve seen her face when I drove pasta.
4. Getting the ability to fly would be so uplifting.
5. Two windmills are standing in a wind farm. One asks, “What’s your favorite kind of music?” The other says, “I’m a big metal fan.”
6. Why was the cookie sad? Because his mom was a wafer long!
7. Why didn’t the cat go to the vet? He was feline fine!
8. How do you make a good egg-roll? You push it down a hill!
9. That baseball player was such a bad sport. He stole third base and then just went home!
10. My parents said I can’t drink coffee anymore. Or else they’ll ground me!
What did one mountain climber say to the other mountain climber?
Man, you are really on edge.
What do you call a blind dinosaur? Do-you-think-he-saurus.
What did momma seal name her twin girls?
Luceal and Sealia.
My mom wanted me to brush my hair.
And I just told her that even pet animals don't like their hair brushed...
What would you name your pet rabbit?
Harry.
Did you hear the gossip about butter? Never mind, I butter not spread it...
Why do bugs hate the internet?
Because they always get caught.
Get it? Inter-net?
What did the human say to the fly when it was buzzing around the human's head?
"Would you stop bugging me!"
What did one bee say to the other bee?
"I love you, honey!"
Why does Santa have three gardens?
So he can Hoe Hoe Hoe!
What do you call a wild cow in a shop with old things?
A bull in a china shop.
By the way, this isn't a joke or a poem. I just want to say, please check out Gwen's puns. They're good!
My teacher: Time can't count.
Me: Every second counts.
My teacher: Ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooohhhhhh!
Why is it wrong to put a beef or turkey patty in a burger?
'Cause it's a ham-burger, isn't it?
Q: Gaining weight is gonna be a piece of cake.
What nails do carpenters hate to hit?
Thumb nails.
What would be a pet's favorite thing to click on on this website?
Cat-egories.
Get it?