Puns
I told my sister a Dairy joke.
She said it was cheesy.
Two atoms were walking on a street. One atom said to the other: "I'm feeling really positive today," and the other replied: "I know. I stole your electron." Then the first atom said "How Ionic."
One day a computer said to another computer, "Why are you so dumb?"
The other computer replied, "Because I have low memory."
Why does Trump build a wall?
There’s such a thing as a ladder.
A bartender says, “We don’t serve time travelers in here!”
A time traveler walks into a bar.
What does it sound like when a dragon sings? A fire alarm.
Why did the orange go blind? Because he was low on vitamin C.
One day, a leaf asks Mom, "Mom, why am I named Leaf?"
Mom says, "Because when you were a baby, a leaf fell on your head."
The next day, Feather asks Mom, "Mommy, why am I named Feather?"
Mom says, "When you were a baby, a feather fell on your head."
The next day, Brick asks Mom, "Rhsisvrkanx!"
Mom says, "Shut up, Brick!"
DON’T READ THIS IF YOU HAVE NOT PLAYED SETTLERS OF CATAN!
“Wheat is going on?” I asked my godmother. She replied “Godson, I really don’t know, but could you please get me some m-ore Shloer?”
“Ok, I’ll sheep if there’s any in the fridge!”
I lent my sister my bed. The next morning, she told me it worked like a dream.
What's your favorite type of flour?
Don't know.
Mines self-raising.
Why did Adele cross the road?
To say hello from the other side.
What time is it when you can drive a house? Time to get a wheelchair.
I tried my best to think of some puns, but I'm gonna have tibia honest: I don't have any puns left, but I'm pretty sternum, so I'll think of a few puns here and there. It took a lot of spine to do this.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Control freak.
Con...
Ok, now you say, "Control freak who?"
Why was the baseball player stuck in the stadium?
'Cause he made his home run.
What do cats eat for breakfast?
"Mice Krispies!"
Why did the credit card go to jail?
'Cuz it was guilty as charged!
If my cat was a cactus, doesn't that make him a catus?
What would the Mandalorian be called if it was made in an aquatic center?
Mandachlorian.