Puns

I knew a guy who used to sell wrenches. He was all torque.

So, there was this cop on the top bunk of a bunk bed.

Another cop walks in and sits on the bottom bunk and the cop on the top bunk bed said, "You're under a-rest."

Q:What did one koala say to the other? A:Hows it hanging.😂

Which Roman emperor was a mouse? Julius Cheeser!

What did the skeleton say to the other skeleton? "I've got a bone to pick with you!"

That was a real rib tickler. I've got a skele-TON more of the skele-PUNS!

What do Cavemen poop in?

A Neander stall.

I can tell you a pun about a pencil, oh! Never mind, it’s pointless.

What is the funniest hill in the world called? Hill-arious!

I drew a fist on a body, and then I drew a guy saying to him, "That dude's a knucklehead!"

My friend said, "Dude, if you don't put your desk in line with the column, you're gay." So he did it, and I said, "Well, I guess now he's straight." ;D

I told my sister a Dairy joke.

She said it was cheesy.

Two atoms were walking on a street. One atom said to the other: "I'm feeling really positive today," and the other replied: "I know. I stole your electron." Then the first atom said "How Ionic."

One day a computer said to another computer, "Why are you so dumb?"

The other computer replied, "Because I have low memory."

Why does Trump build a wall?

There’s such a thing as a ladder.

A bartender says, “We don’t serve time travelers in here!”

A time traveler walks into a bar.

What does it sound like when a dragon sings? A fire alarm.

Why did the orange go blind? Because he was low on vitamin C.

One day, a leaf asks Mom, "Mom, why am I named Leaf?"

Mom says, "Because when you were a baby, a leaf fell on your head."

The next day, Feather asks Mom, "Mommy, why am I named Feather?"

Mom says, "When you were a baby, a feather fell on your head."

The next day, Brick asks Mom, "Rhsisvrkanx!"

Mom says, "Shut up, Brick!"

DON’T READ THIS IF YOU HAVE NOT PLAYED SETTLERS OF CATAN!

“Wheat is going on?” I asked my godmother. She replied “Godson, I really don’t know, but could you please get me some m-ore Shloer?”

“Ok, I’ll sheep if there’s any in the fridge!”

I lent my sister my bed. The next morning, she told me it worked like a dream.