Puns
Why did the Nurse bring a red pen to work? To draw Blood.
Why did the M&M go to school? To be a smartie.
Why did the monkey bring a ladder to school? To be in highschool.
You can pick your friends, and you can pick your nose, but you can't pick your friends' noses.
Does it cycle now? 🚲
When you are going back to where you live from a place that is a time zone behind where you live:
"Looks like I am going back to the future!"
What did the spaghetti say to the sauce? Pasta la vista!
What do you call a cow with no legs?
Ground beef.
A cow with no front legs walking around?
Beef stroganoff.
Cool, new word of the day: Marijuana.
“Does Marry wanna smoke a joint?”
The police told everyone to put their hands up, and the police were having fun waving their hands around.
I see, you guys jokers are SANS-ational!
Fishermen are the best at networking.
I'm so smart, wanna know why? Because you're gay.
Broke my toenail yesterday. I'm now presenting you puns/jokes:
1. "Yeah, I broke my toenail, wanna see phoTOES?" 2. "I'm tired of bandaging my toe! Oh. My. GAUZE."
At first, I didn't like Big Ben, but then I went there and the experience was un-BELL-ievable!
I can change a "t" into a "p," just drink it and wait a few hours.
What Did Iran Say To Oman?
"Oh man, I ran out of ideas!"
There's at least 856 pages of these newest puns. I couldn't finish, because it took me an hour just to get that far. Just saying, that's a lot of jokes!
What’s up with the foot feet?
What is the plural of "goose"? "Geese."
What is the plural of moose? Well, it ant meese.
Well, it’s my first joke. Please forgive me if it’s bad.
What was the most famous skeleton detective in the world? Sherlock Bones!
One knight, a king, and a queen went fishing. They each caught one fish, so how did three fish end up in the bucket?
One "knight"!!!
So there was this girl and her horse would not stop following her, so she said, "Stop horsing around!"
Get it? "Horse-ing."
What do Time Clocks like to play?
Tick Tack Toe.