Public space jokes

You are so fat that when you jump into the pool, everyone gets out.

"Did you hear about the flasher who exposed himself to two elderly ladies in Central Park? One had a stroke. The other couldn’t quite reach."

What animal has 5 legs?

A pitbull on a children's playground.

I got caught peeing in the pool.

The lifeguard blew his whistle so hard I nearly fell in!

Did you ever receive an anonymous blowjob from another male under the handicapped stall inside the public men's restroom at a rest area and did you have an orgasm and was it the best orgasm that you ever had?

When I'm bored, I go into an elevator with a full duffle bag. Once people come in and the door closes, I zip open the bag a little bit and whisper to it, "I'll get you some food once we get off."

Me: Tells a racist joke on the internet and no one bats an eye.

Also me: Tells the same joke at KFC and everybody loses their mind.

I was in a public bathroom in a handicap stall, and when I got out, a handicapped man told me that I was an a**hole. I told him, "Bet you won't stand up and say that to my face," and then he broke down.

How do you stop all homophobic heterosexual white men from using all public men's restrooms at a rest area?

Make sure that all public men's restrooms at the rest area are always occupied with gay men that have long and thick big cocks, regardless of skin color.

Can we have a party in space?

First, we need to planet ;)

Get it? "Plan it" = planet.

I am throwing a party in space. Can you help me planet?

If the sun is in space, then why is there light on Earth, but not in space?

Uranus floats around in space.

An astronomer walked up to me and I was like, "Give me some space..."

Are you getting the funnies?

I was sitting at a bench at the park and saw a lady. She asked which kid was mine, and I responded, "I haven't decided yet."

Today I was asked to go out by 17 women. Well, I was in the women's bathroom. 💀

That awkward moment when you're checking yourself out in the window of a car and you realize there's somebody inside.