Public Space Jokes

When I'm bored, I go into an elevator with a full duffle bag. Once people come in and the door closes, I zip open the bag a little bit and whisper to it, "I'll get you some food once we get off."

Today I was asked to go out by 17 women. Well, I was in the women's bathroom. 💀

Did you ever receive an anonymous blowjob from another male under the handicapped stall inside the public men's restroom at a rest area and did you have an orgasm and was it the best orgasm that you ever had?

That awkward moment when you're checking yourself out in the window of a car and you realize there's somebody inside.

I was in a public bathroom in a handicap stall, and when I got out, a handicapped man told me that I was an a**hole. I told him, "Bet you won't stand up and say that to my face," and then he broke down.

I was sitting at a bench at the park and saw a lady. She asked which kid was mine, and I responded, "I haven't decided yet."

Me: Tells a racist joke on the internet and no one bats an eye.

Also me: Tells the same joke at KFC and everybody loses their mind.

I got caught peeing in the pool.

The lifeguard blew his whistle so hard I nearly fell in!

"Did you hear about the flasher who exposed himself to two elderly ladies in Central Park? One had a stroke. The other couldn’t quite reach."

What animal has 5 legs?

A pitbull on a children's playground.

You are so fat that when you jump into the pool, everyone gets out.