Muppet jokes
Why doesn't Kermit the frog get married?
He doesn't like commitment.
Elmo, stop penetrating the orphan!
What do you call an emo's face?
Elmo's son.
LBB- me and Shrek built a theme park for you mummy and it’s called Dummy pee pee poo poo doo doo land because Shrek likes to poop.
Shrek- Should I pull the trap?
*LBB’s mom walks into the trap*
LBB and Shrek- surprise we’re mailing you to Peepoo Peepoo AB
Little Brown Bear (LBB): Why did Santa take the kitty and all of my toys, Mummy?
His mom: Maybe because you're the second most massive shit stain besides Caillou.
*Krampus comes down the chimney to eat LBB*
Krampus: Should’ve been better, Little Bear.
LBB: Help, Mummy! He’s the Scratchy monster!
Shrek: Just kidding, it’s not Krampus, but indeed me and Black Donkey instead, and we’re going to poop on your floor.
Duggie: Hopefully Marvin doesn’t see us, and by the way, want some purplish Kool-Aid?
Go Kermit, toaster bath.
Things you say before sex, Disney addition:
"Have you seen my Mouseketool? Oh, Toodles!"
Some man was walking too slow, so I told him to Mufasa.
What did they give Elmo before he left the factory? Two test-tickles.
Why can't Miss Piggy count to 70?
Because when she gets to 69 there's a frog in her throat.
