Prostitution jokes
What’s the difference between Jesus and a prostitute?
The look they give you while you’re nailing them.
My friend jokingly confessed to me she did prostitution (consensual).
She wasn't joking. :0
We are 15....
Q: What do a prostitute and a vacuum have in common?
A: If they stop sucking, you can smack them until they start again.
What's a prostitute's favorite snack?
Skittles. They love to taste the rainbow.
This lady has 2 parrots that only say one thing: "Hi, we're prostitutes, wanna have some fun?"
So she goes and tells her pastor. He responds with, "I have two parrots as well, they are always praying, and they have everything that a parrot needs to be a Christian. Maybe if we put our parrots together, mine will fix yours."
They proceed to do so, and the lady's parrots say, "Hi, we're prostitutes, wanna have some fun?" and the pastor's parrots reply with "Johnny, drop your beads and lift your heads, our prayers have been answered!"
Girl: "Dad."
Dad: "Do I love you?"
Girl: "I am a prostitute."
Dad: "Yes."
Woman 2: "Dad."
Dad: "Right?"
Woman 2: "I'm a woman too."
Father: "God, do you love children?"
Boy: "Yes..."
What do feminists and whores have in common?
Daddy issues.
I'm gonna make a documentary about meth-addicted prostitutes.
I think I'll call it "Whores on Ice."
What is the difference between a nun and a prostitute?
One says, "God is my father." The other says, "Who's the father and who is my son?"
What is the difference between a nun and a prostitute?
One is for Sunday morning, and one is for Sunday night.
What's the difference between Jesus and a hooker?
The face you make when you nail them.
A teenage boy decides to go see a hooker for the first time and asks his experienced uncle for some tips.
"Uncle, what should I do about the hooker name? Should I ask her real name or should I come up with a name for her myself?"
"Kid, I've been fucking hookers for 20 years and I didn't even know they had names."
Being a hooker shouldn't be illegal.
It's like having an Airbnb for your dick.
What did the hooker say when she found out the cash she was paid with for services rendered was counterfeit?
I've been raped!
What's the best part about a dead hooker? The second hour is free!
What's the difference between a hooker and a mosquito?
The mosquito stops sucking after you slap it.
What commitment does a pimp make to each new hoe he turns out?
Answer: He will always be there for her after the break-in period.
Rape is so outdated, but when you pay them money, it is a popular date!
Jack and Jill went up the hill, each with a buck and a quarter. Jill came down with $2.50, that fuckin' whore.
My mom said don't fuck whores.
So I kicked my step sis out the house.