Profession

Profession Jokes

Cat

If the hairdresser is healthy, the cat is happy. *purr*.

On the other hand, if the hairdresser is sick, the cat is happy too. *purrs on the bed*

Rabbit

"A priest, an imam, and a rabbit walk into a clinic to donate blood. The rabbit turns to the nurse and says, 'I think I'm a Type-O!'"

Difference

What's the difference between 911 and a Mexican gardener?

One of them is an outside job.

Ego

The doctor had an ego so big, it fell into the ocean fast.

Son

When my son was little, he loved to draw. Although he would always rip up the paper whenever there was one little slip up. Too bad he became a tattoo artist.....

Stripper

How do men like their women? Striped.

How does a priest like their children? Clean.

Why are most orphans strippers? They want to call someone mommy or daddy.

What is the difference between a stripper and candy? None. But they like it when you take the wrapper off.

Material

I went to visit my friend who is a stand up comedian and I asked him, "Why do you have so much art supplies, clothing fabrics, and building supplies in your basement?"

He responded with, "I don't know what it is people think I need it all for, but almost every time I perform, people tell me I need new material!"

Egg

Why did the chef go get the eggs? Because eggs are egg-tastic!

Hairline

Your hairline is so bad, the cops had to do a breathalyzer test on your barber.

Fetish

What is a similarity between priests and doctors?

They both have fetishes for their professions.

Male

What does a male Asian P*rnstar like to say?

"I love eating cat."