Problem

Problem Jokes

Jay-Z

What did Jay Z say when he got pulled over?

"I got 99 problems but a bitch ain't one!"

Plane

The Christian, the Buddhist, and the Muslim each go on a separate plane.

The Christian's and the Buddhist's flight goes well, but the Muslim's plane has a problem and crashes into two towers.

Android

When I got to you and I was android and we were all in Minecraft for the last two years and we had the same problem UI with you anymore but you can see it on Instagram that it is not a real time thing or a android.

Muslim

What do you call a Scottish Muslim with drug problems?

(Said in a Scottish accent) "Amaffmaheed."

Woman

If you can make a woman laugh, you're almost there.

If you're almost there and then she laughs, then you've got a whole different problem on your hands.

Migraine

Ever had a migraine? Yeah, sorry that’s my fault. Couple years ago, all my grains got loose.

Fear

Run, or something will come to you, and you will be afraid to tell it to stop following you.

Emo

The emo was having computer problems because they had troubleshooting.

Dishwasher

There was a big problem yesterday.

My dishwasher has stopped working; her visa had expired.

Wordplay

This is 15 first-year treating a swan.

Students return: "Without payment?"

The word "I die with many important problems."

Later, you answer this point: "DSD, rats?"

Book

I found a book called "How to Solve 50% of Your Problems." So I bought 2.

Team

According to all known laws of aviation, there is no way that Keagan's FIFA team should be this terrible, also the problem is that Keagan is a Real Madrid fan.

Mama

Yo mama so fat if she turned into food, she could solve world hunger.

Emo

I used to be emo, but I don't cut myself to solve my problems anymore.

I just drink a bunch of liquor like an adult.

Man

Two men are sitting at a coffee table.

Mike: "I think I might have a drinking problem."

Joe: "Why do you say that?"

Mike: "Well, last week I got so drunk I blew chunks."

Joe: "That's nothing to be ashamed of; we all drink a little too much sometimes."

Mike: "No, you don't understand. Chunks is my dog's name."

Orphan

I made this up.

I was watching a school baseball game, and I was yelling at a kid to take it home. He took the bat and threw it, and then ran away. I asked the teacher/coach what the problem was, and he said the kid was an orphan, and I started laughing so hard.

Later that night, I wondered where he stormed off to after he threw the bat, and I thought to myself, "Not home."

Depression

What's the difference between depression and a girl?

XXXTentacion can't seem to beat depression.