Problem jokes
The reason Stephen Hawking died was because he switched WiFi routers from Sky to Virgin, so his computer lagged out.
A girl named Rebecca was friends with a guy called Fi. One day, Fi hit Rebecca, and Rebecca lost service.
Rebecca said to Fi, "Why-Fi?"
Q: Why are orphans bad at baseball?
A: They can’t find home.
Do you know why orphans can't play baseball?
Because they can't find home.
Why can't Asians play baseball?
Because they ate all the bats!
Why would you shoot up an innocent school... if your aimbot's dead and you can't commit headshots only?
Why couldn’t the booty be on social media?
It had too many FOLLOWERS behind it.
Yo hairline caused corruption.
Vladimir Putin is probably a homophobe because he has to go through life with the name of a gay porn star.
Why did the car key never fit in?
He was too door key.
Do not sort... that's bad... *sigh in depression*
Why can't an orphan go to school? He needs a parent admission form to get in.
I found a book called "How to Solve 50% of Your Problems." So I bought 2.
A young couple gets banned from church.
There were three couples, one elderly, one middle-aged, and one newlywed, that wanted to join a church. So the minister tells them that in order to be members they must abstain from sex for two whole weeks.
After two weeks, the minister asks the elderly couple if they had abstained. "Yes, no problem!" So the minister welcomes them to the church.
Then he asks the middle-aged couple the same question, "Well, after one week, the husband had to sleep on the couch, but we made it!" So the minister welcomes them to the church.
Then the minister asks the newlywed couple if they had abstained from sex for two weeks.
"We were unable to abstain. On the third day, my wife dropped a can of corn and when she bent over to pick it up, LUST and PASSION overcame me! I took her right there."
"I'm sorry," the minister says, "but you are both banned from this church!"
"We understand," says the husband, "We were banned from the grocery store, too."
My doctor said I only have 1 year to live, so I killed him. Got sentenced to life in prison, problem solved!
Remember kids, if ever you're bored, kick an orphan.
Who are they going to tell? Their parents?
Know what a 6.9 is?
Another good thing screwed up by a period.
Pigeons can be annoying at times, especially when their bones get stuck in-between your teeth.
I'm not a chef, but boy, are these days getting harder and harder to get through.
Why do orphans hate baseball so much?
Because they can't run home.