Priest's jokes
Why do priests appreciate educated children?
They don't spit.
What's the difference between a priest and McDonald's?
They both like to slide their meat between 10 year old buns.
Girl: Daddy, I've been a bad girl.
Priest: For the last time, it's "Father, I have sinned."
What do you call a Catholic priest who molests children?
A Catholic priest.
A white dad, a priest, and a rabbi all run out a burning school, and the dad says, “What about the kids?” and the rabbi replies to him saying, “Fuck the kids,” and the priest says, “Think we got enough time?”
A priest, a rapist, a pedophile, and a homosexual walk into a bar.
He orders a drink.
What is different about priests and acne?
Acne waits until you're 13 to cum on your face.
So I heard it was important to clean your sex toys, which is why priests invented baptism I guess.
A priest and a rabbi are walking down the street, and they come to a kid playing in a sandbox. The priest says, "Hey, you wanna go screw that kid?"
To which the rabbi replies, "Out of what?"
What do you call a sex offender attending church? A priest.
What's the difference between a priest and SpongeBob?
SpongeBob asks if you're ready first.
One day, a priest and a nun went to play golf together.
In the first shot, the priest missed his shot and said, "Fuck, I missed it!"
The nun replied, "Hey, you should not curse."
In the second shot, the priest missed his shot again and said, "Fuck, I missed again!"
The nun replied, "Hey, stop swearing, or else God will punish you."
In the next shot, the priest missed once again. He shouted, "Fuck this, this game is bullshit!"
The nun replied, "Enough! God is definitely going to punish you anytime now."
Suddenly, a thunderbolt struck the nun and killed her. The clouds separated from the sky, and there was a voice in the sky saying, "Oh, fuck, I missed!"
A priest and a pedophile walk into a bar. The bartender says, "Hey Jim!"
A woman marries a man and has 7 children. The husband dies, and she marries another man. She has another 7 children, and later the husband dies. A year later she gets married again, and has another 7 children. She dies after a few months.
At the funeral, a man sees the priest looking at the heavens. He walks over and hears the man say, "They're finally together again." The man looks at the priest and says, "With her husband?" The priest looks at the man and says, "No, her legs."
What does a priest hold on to when having sex?
He holds on to the schoolbag.
Two priests are pulled over by the police. One priest asks the cop what the reason for pulling them over is. The cop says, "We are looking for two child molesters." The priest look at each other and tell the cop they'll do it.
Why are priests called father? Because it's too sus to call them daddy!
Why do Priests like playing the violin? They get to finger A minor.
What type of meat do priests eat on Good Friday? Nun.
What do you get when you combine a priest and lawyer? A Father-in-law.