Priest's jokes
We are coming out with a Whopper that is similar to a priest because it also has its meat between 5-year-old buns.
What do two priests say to each other when they walk into an orphanage?
"Let us pray."
A priest walked in and said to the kids,
"Hey kids, are you ready for your faptism?"
Q: What do Satan and a priest have in common?
A: They both want Anthony's neck.
What does a child molester and a Catholic priest have in common? They both prey at church.
Do you know what a reverse exorcism is?
It's when the demon tells the priest to exit the child's body.
A priest and a rabbi run out of a burning building.
Priest: What about the children, Rabbi?
Rabbi: Fuck the children!
Priest: Do we have time?
When you go to the priest's basement, you will always find the pope's body and his children in the corner of the room.
A priest asks a nun if she has slept with anyone, and the nun says, "Yes, a fucking hot girl!"
The existence of the word "priest" implies the existence of "prier" and "pri".
They don't call priests "daddy," they call me daddy.
This guy comes knocking on the door in hell and speaks to God. "Please let me out, it is too cold in here!"
God is all confused. "There is a big fire in there!" The guy answers, "Yes, there is, but you cannot get near it. All the bishops, cardinals, and priests are sitting around it."
A priest and a rabbi were hanging out at a playground. The priest waves to a kid to come over and tells the rabbi, "Let's screw this kid."
The rabbi looks confused and asks, "Out of what?"
Why are you guys making fun of priests?
Because you have a suga daddy already.
What do a Catholic priest and an Olympic silver medalist have in common? A: They both come in a little behind.
HELP! HELP!
TELL THE PRIEST TO STOP TICKLING ME!
What's the difference between acne and a Catholic priest?
Acne waits until a kid is a teenager to come on its face.
"The rise of atheism is going to lead to a break down of social morals and lead to all kinds of filth, including an increase in child abuse," said the village priest.
The village scientists did some fact checking. In prison, they found roughly 70% of child abusers were hyper religious before committing the crimes, and another 20% converted to religions to look 'remorseful'. The remaining 10% preferred not to say. They presented the findings to the media.
"Scientists slander good religious folk and ignore the weight of evidence!"
"Is Science biased against religion? You decide in this survey," they reported.
The village priest is living at his majesty's convenience and tells the others he committed armed robbery.
"Why is this a joke? It's not even funny!" said the person reading this, breaking the forth wall.
What is funny is you got to the end of this post and didn't cringe. Why not?
Why do Catholic priests make the best cocksuckers for gay and bisexual men that are members of the Catholic Church?
Because there are glory holes inside of the confessional booths.
A Catholic school is burning down. One of the priests says, "Save the children, save them!" Another priest says, "F*ck the children, we're gonna die!!" The last priest is like, "Hmmm... do we have time?"