Priest's jokes
What's the difference between a silver medal and a priest?
They both came in a little behind.
A priest and a rabbi walk into a bar.
They should have ducked.
A wise man once said, "don't think young, think tight." He was a priest.
What do you call an orphan who grows up to become a priest?
Father Les.
How come I have a father but not a dad?
He was a priest.
What do you call a Mexican fighting a Catholic priest?
Alien vs. Predator.
What's the difference between a priest and a zit?
A: One waits until you're twelve to cum on your face.
The existence of the word "priest" implies the existence of "prier" and "pri".
You ever hear of a reverse exorcism?
It's where the devil tells the priest to get out of the child.
What's the difference between a mole and a priest?
One will till your 13 to put hairs on your face.
Why do people call priests "Father"?
Because it’s too suspicious to call them "Daddy."
What's the difference between a priest and a rabbi? A rabbi cuts it off, a priest sucks it off.
Roses are red, don’t touch the toys, these are what the priests use to lure in the boys.
Guy: Why can't Jesus have M&M's?
Priest: Why?
Guy: Because they'll fall through the hole in his hands.
A priest says to me, "Come up, my child." Then I said, "Do I know you? Because you're not my father."
What's the difference between 5% of priests and 5% of atheists?
5% of atheists have seen a ghost.
5% of priests have spooked altar boys in the sacristy.
What's the difference between a peanut and a priest?
With a peanut, you have to break the shell open for the nut to come out.
What's the difference between a Catholic priest and acne?
Acne comes on your face after you turn 13.
Have you heard of the new sequel to "The Exorcist"?
A woman hires the devil to get a priest out of her son.
Q: What’s the difference between a priest and McDonald’s?
A: Nothing! They both stick their meat in 10 year old buns.