What's the difference between 5% of priests and 5% of atheists?
5% of atheists have seen a ghost.
5% of priests have spooked altar boys in the sacristy.
Priest Jokes
If you got a priest, a Rhodes scholar, and a politician in a room, what would you get?
The Royal Commission.
Alternatively, Tony Abbott.
What's the difference between Woody from Toy Story and a Catholic priest?
One goes limp when a child walks in the room.
A police officer pulls over two Catholic priests. He says he's looking for two child molesters.
The Catholic priests look at each other: "We'll do it!"
What has 2 legs and loves to play with little kids? The local priest.
The existence of the word "priest" implies the existence of "prier" and "pri".
A guy asks his priest friend what he wants to eat, and the priest says "bad boys." Then his friend asks, "What kebab do you want?" and the priest says, "B Bricked up Caucasian or Asian will do."
We are coming out with a Whopper that is similar to a priest because it also has its meat between 5-year-old buns.
What do you call a priest meeting his illegal children?
A holy CUMmunion.
What did the racist Catholic priest say?
"Martin Luther? Not my king!"
What's a priest's favorite toy?
A mute little boy.
Apparently, as a 4-year-old, Hitler was saved from drowning in the river Passau by a local priest.
Goes to show once more that a lot of problems would be solved if priests could just keep their hands off kids.
What's a little white dot on a priest's dick? A baby tooth.
A priest says to me, "Come up, my child." Then I said, "Do I know you? Because you're not my father."
Why do Roman Catholics have so many kids?
So there’s more for the priest.
I accidentally sucked my own ball sack.
If you look at this joke, you are going to meet a Catholic priest tomorrow.
A priest walks outside and finds two young boys sitting on a big ice cube. The priest asks what they are doing. The boys answer that the priest always likes a couple of cold ones before he goes on.
A priest, a rabbi, and a vicar walk into a bar. The barman says, “Is this some kind of joke?”
Hey kids, are you ready for Faptisim?
