Priest Jokes

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What is a similiarity between priests and doctors?

They both have fetishes for their professions


they dont call priest daddy they call me daddy


What do priests and McDonald's have in common? They both stick their meat in 10-year-old buns!

pope francis

So do you guys know those waterslides that you stand in, and then they suddenly drop you straight down onto the water slide? If not, look them up on YouTube, there's nothing like them.

Ah yes, the sweet memories of my first time on one of these. I feel that my mental/emotional scars have healed enough to tell this gem.

At the time my girlfriend, now Fiancée, worked as a photographer for one of those resorts with the indoor and outdoor water parks. One of her perks was that her and a family member/friend could get into the waterpark for free, so one hot summer day she had off and we both decided it'd be fun to go there and cool down for the day.

While we were there, I discovered one of there most "Thrilling" looking waterslides. Basically you stand in this tube, and then the slide operator presses a button and this slide drops you straight down a good 90 FEET, before you actually start going down the water slide. Me, being a thrill seeker, of course had to try it. So I made the great climb up to the top of the slide, stood in line, and finally it was my turn. Once I got in the tube, the operator told me to keep my legs crossed. Now I'm a pretty big heavy guy, so I was like "That's uncomfortable as fuck, I'm not doing that". So there I was standing in the tube, having a panic attack from anticipation, with my legs not crossed. The operator finally presses the button, the bottom opens and I fall straight down the water slide. Very quickly I realized why they have you cross your legs. Water shot so far up my ass, so fast, I swear I tasted it in my mouth. My body raced down that slide, as I questioned every life choice that I have ever made.

Once I made it to the bottom, I sat there for a moment, absolutely violated. I felt like someone in an episode of Law & Order: Special Victims Unit. I built up the courage to finally stand up, and all I could feel was the nice warm stream of water mixed with shit, and maybe a little bit of blood shoot out of my ass faster than the Steamboat Geyser at Yellowstone National Park. I quickly got off the slide and ran to the bathroom, with a trail of shitty water tailing me as the slide operator stared in awe. They had to shut down the slide for the rest of the day :'), but man was my asshole clean after that!

Moral of the story: Keep your damn legs crossed on waterslides.

Same thing goes when you are at bible study with a handsy priest.

pope francis

Why don't catholic kids lose their virginity in their 20's?

Because they lost it to a priest when they were 5

barbie nuts
in Orphan

why did the orphan grow up to be a priest? so he could be called Father Les.


what do you call a priest gay! hahahahahaha

What's the difference between a priest and SpongeBob?

SpongeBob asks if you're ready first

in Emo

Why are priests called father? because its too suspicious to call them daddy.

What’s do a priest and Christmas tree lights have in common?

They can both flash

its important to wash your sex toys

thats why priests invented baptism

Why Demons are dying from Priestwater?The Soul from a Priest is completly diffrent


Why is a priest different from acne? Acne waits to come on to your face

Why do Priests play Geometry Dash?Cuz they can beat Demons.


What do gay guys and priests have in common

They are both gay in there Own ways


What’s the difference between Jeffrey Dahmer and a priest

That both like lil boys


What do priests and McDonalds have in common? They both like putting their meat in between 5-year old buns

Moe Lester

What does McDonald's and Priests have in common?

They put their meat inside 10 year olds