Priest Jokes

When the orphan got a job as a priest, what was his name?

Father Les

what do you call a nun in a wheelchair? the virginmobile

My friend just told me about reverse exorcisms. In these, the demon tells the priest to get out of the child.

So I saw a bag full children near a dumpster, I guess we know where the Orphans are when the parents didn’t want them..

Wouldn’t want to hope a Catholic Priest comes along, otherwise the Priest will have new sex toys..

So I saw a bag full children near a dumpster, I guess we know where the Orphans are when the parents didn’t want them..

Wouldn’t want to hope a Catholic Priest comes along, otherwise the Priest will have new sex toys..

What's the difference between a catholic priest and the devil?? The devil always has horns... not just around children

Spray and pray, also known as a priest with an altar boy

What do you call a priest that likes juice A capriest sun

"The rise of atheism is going to lead to a break down of social morals and lead to all kinds of filth including an increase in child abuse" said the village priest. The village scientists did some fact checking. In prison they found roughly 70% of child abusers were hyper religious before committing the crimes, and another 20% converted to religions to look 'remorseful'. The remaining 10% preferred not to say. They presented the findings to the media. "Scientists slander good religious folk and ignore the weight of evidence!" "Is Science biased against religion? You decide in this survey". they reported

The village priest is living at his majesties convenience and tells the others he committed armed robbery.

"Why is this a joke, its not even funny?" Said the person reading this, breaking the forth wall.

What is funny is you got to the end of this post and didn't cringe. Why not?

What's the difference between 5% of priests and 5% of atheists? 5% of atheists have seen a ghost 5% of priests have spooked altar boys in the sacristy

If you mixed the iraq wheat scandal with the basics card paying other people's dole to your wife and tumble dried it in a royal commission that made your priestly mates look bad what would you get? Tony Abbott's career

If you got a priest, a rhodes scholar and a politician in a room what would you get? The Royal Commission alternatively Tony Abbott

What's the difference between Woody from Toy Story, and a Catholic priest?

One goes limp when a child walks in the room.

Police officer pulls over 2 Catholic priests. Says he’s looking for two child molesters.

Catholic priests looking at each other: We’ll do it!

A priest asks the convicted murderer at the electric chair, “Do you have any last requests?” “Yes,” replies the murderer. “Can you please hold my hand?”

You should always wash your sex toys, that’s why priest invented baptism.

What has 2 legs and loves to play with little kids? The local priest.

The existence of the word "priest" implies the existence of "prier" and "pri"

A guy asks his priest friend what he wants to eat and the priest says bad boys and then his friend says what Kibab do you want and the priest says bricked up Caucasian or Asian will do