President jokes
You're so bald, the Hair Club for Men has elected you president.
What do you get when you mix Harry Houdini, a basketball, and the 17th president?
Magic Johnson.
I had a JFK joke, but it went right through my head.
Donald Trump travels back in time to talk to his 10-year-old self.
When he sees himself, he says, "Do you see me? I am you, but almost 70 years older."
His 10-year-old self asks him, "Am I going to be famous?"
Trump replies, "Oh yeah, I became president of the United States. Not once. Twice!"
10-year-old Donald was shocked. But he became even more shocked when he heard the next sentence from his current self: "And now take off your pants!"
Why is Trump always in debt? His university isn't paid off yet!
Did you hear they just took Biden to the hospital?
No, what happened?
He couldn’t stop pootin!
Who were the greenest Presidents in US history? The Bushes.
Why was going through JFK's head when he was getting assassinated? A bullet.
Why didn't Biden get the virus?
He sniffed everyone!
Hello my fellow Canadians, I mean Americans. I, your cool and hip president, has decided to give everyone free ice cream! Even the Russians. Go out to your local ice cream shop and make sure to leave your kids at home!
9/10/01
Bush: “Ok, I got this. Just act surprised and pretend to be sad and declare war on Afghanistan.”
Why does Joe Biden call women muffins?
'Cause muffins backwards is sniffum.
I used to think all Americans were racist.
Now I've changed my mind. They DID elect an orange president.
What do Joe Biden and orphans have in common?
No one loves them!
Do you think John F. Kennedy went for a ride in Dallas just to clear his head because his wife said he was close-minded?
Hillary Clinton lost last time to the first African American president, Barack Obama. Why will she lose this one to Donald Trump?
Because orange is the new black.
I think we should change Alzheimer’s disease to Joe Biden disease.
There were four people in a helicopter: Trump, a first-grade kid, a schoolteacher, and the Chinese leader.
There were only three parachutes. The Chinese leader takes one and jumps. The schoolteacher says she has to teach, so she jumps. Trump and the first-grader are left. Trump says, "I've lived my life; you take the last one." So the kid puts on his backpack and jumps. Trump makes it out safe.
If Trump colored his hair green and wore an orange shirt and pants, I will call him a carrot.
Who's the cutest president in the world?
Kim Jong Un, chh💕💕💕