What is the difference between the President of Ukraine and the President of the United States?
The President of Ukraine is a comedian, and the President of the United States is a joke!
Why are Trump's ties so long?
Because they go all the way to Russia.
What's Joe Biden's favorite arcade game?
Space Invaders.
Where did JFK go in his car? I am not sure of his intentional destination, but he did go everywhere.
If you ever feel useless... Just remember that if you ever feel useless... Just remember that it took the US 4 presidents, trillions of dollars, thousands of lives, and 20 years to replace the Taliban with... the Taliban.
Cheap oil, no immigration, and no school shootings.
Corona did what Trump promised.
Government Briefing:
Joe Biden had a meeting with the cabinet today...
...He also spoke to the bookcase and argued with the desk.
I was hit on by President Kennedy, too bad I shot him down.
What did Melania ever see in Donald Trump?
$2 billion and high cholesterol.
Why does Bill Clinton wear boxers? -- To keep his ankles warm.
Once I saw Donald Trump and an orange and couldnβt tell the difference π
Chesley, in horror, runs out of the cockpit of the plane coming from London, "I'm so very sorry, everyone. I punched the wrong buttons, and we are heading to DC instead of New York, and we are about to run out of fuel." He opens the door and turns around to the five passengers and exclaimed, "I've parachutes but miscounted. We only got four for the passengers." He jumps off.
Donald faced the other four and orders:
"I'm the greatest leader of the world, and I'll make the decision. Tony, you go first. Our country needs you. The whole wide world needs you. Pandemic is raging."
Tony jumps off.
"Francis, my friend, you go next. Pandemic is ravaging the mind and body of millions. Their soul needs saving. Save Vladimir's and Xi's for me."
Francis jumps off.
Hillary faced Donald furiously. "Who are you to make decisions for us? I should have been president. I'm the smartest woman in the whole world in history."
Hillary jumps off.
Donald gazed at the young woman and started talking: "I'm an old man. I have already lived a full life - beautiful wives, children, just a beautiful life. Just beautiful. I've become president of the most powerful country, the most beautiful, the richest. Regrets? I've made a few but did it my way. Greta, go on. Your future is bright. I just wish I can make my country great again and have the chance to help save the world with you. I believe in second chances. Look at my bankruptcies, believe me. And I wish I've played more golf and..."
Greta interjected, "Just shut the f* up. The plane is about to crash. Let's go and save the world. The smartest woman in history took my backpack!"
What's harder than steel? Joe Biden at a playground.
My mind was blown when I saw all the people waving at me.
-JFK
Best political joke... Joe Biden.
Why didn't Trump beat Biden?
Because he couldn't trump that bitch!
Why is Joe Biden afraid of getting COVID?
Because he'd lose his sense of smell.
They made a horror movie about the Chinese president.
It's called "Winnie the Pooh: Blood and Honey."
Everyone's had a mind-blowing day before, just ask JFK.
Why won't Trump be subject to impeachment?
Answer: Because Republicans in Congress insist that every baby be brought to full term!
