President

President jokes

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String

  • I was in my guitar class and my strings were dead, and then I realized they were more dead than George Bush on November 30, 2018.

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    Comedian

  • *walks into a comedy night club* Owner: "You're doing standup tonight, right?" Noob Joker (you): "Yes, I am!" Owner: "Get onto the stage." Me: *walks up stage* Owner: "This is the standup comedian noobpro." Me: "Hey guys, how about some Donald Trump?" Crowd: *RUNS*

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    Pedophile

  • Donald Trump travels back in time to talk to his 10-year-old self.

    When he sees himself, he says, "Do you see me? I am you, but almost 70 years older."

    His 10-year-old self asks him, "Am I going to be famous?"

    Trump replies, "Oh yeah, I became president of the United States. Not once. Twice!"

    10-year-old Donald was shocked. But he became even more shocked when he heard the next sentence from his current self: "And now take off your pants!"

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  • Trump

  • My friend's mom once told me that when Trump was elected president, she said to my friend: "Hey look, an orange became president. We got an orange as a president before a girl as president."

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