President jokes
What does Donald Trump say when he declares war? Nuke them.
What does a pervert say when he declares war? Nude them.
JFK
Half is definitely a bottom.
Jackie gives better head than Marilyn.
Donald Trump is still the president, even after the government has been shut down.
Why does the president take so long to deliver each sentence?
He’s just Biden his time.
Trump should be grateful for DEI.
How else could a mentally handicapped person be elected President?
Biden... get it?
ememe
Joe Biden would’ve died in the Secret Service tackle. They would have been like, "Get down Mr. Presi-"
*walks into a comedy night club* Owner: "You're doing standup tonight, right?" Noob Joker (you): "Yes, I am!" Owner: "Get onto the stage." Me: *walks up stage* Owner: "This is the standup comedian noobpro." Me: "Hey guys, how about some Donald Trump?" Crowd: *RUNS*
What does a pirate say to the president?? Spread your legs so I can get my treasure back.
He do American feel like Trump is the president, he is stupid like soup.
I was in my guitar class and my strings were dead, and then I realized they were more dead than George Bush on November 30, 2018.
Donald Trump travels back in time to talk to his 10-year-old self.
When he sees himself, he says, "Do you see me? I am you, but almost 70 years older."
His 10-year-old self asks him, "Am I going to be famous?"
Trump replies, "Oh yeah, I became president of the United States. Not once. Twice!"
10-year-old Donald was shocked. But he became even more shocked when he heard the next sentence from his current self: "And now take off your pants!"
Trump is ass.
The last two presidents of the US.
My friend's mom once told me that when Trump was elected president, she said to my friend: "Hey look, an orange became president. We got an orange as a president before a girl as president."
What do you call a guy that lies a lot?
The president.
What did President Ford say when he met Betty?
"I am Gerald Ford and you’re hot."
If I had a dime for everytime the Australian president shat himself in a McDonald's, I would have one dime, which is not a lot, but it's weird that it happened.