President

President jokes

Hey any riding with Biden fans out there?

I ran out of gas and could really use a ride so if one of ya'll can call me and pick me up that'd be great and I can't get gas because I only have 20 bucks which is like 1-5 and a half, help me please.

Did you hear they just took Biden to the hospital?

No, what happened?

He couldn’t stop pootin!

Where did JFK go in his car? I am not sure of his intentional destination, but he did go everywhere.

Hello my fellow Canadians, I mean Americans. I, your cool and hip president, has decided to give everyone free ice cream! Even the Russians. Go out to your local ice cream shop and make sure to leave your kids at home!

A plane is going to crash. There are four passengers and only three parachutes. All the staff are safe and are gone, leaving the passengers. Ryan Reynolds is the first. He says, "My fans need me," and jumps. Donald Trump takes another and says, "I am the smartest president," and jumps, leaving one. There is a pope and a boy left. The pope says, "Child, my life is over and yours has just begun, take the last parachute." The boy replies, "Don't worry - Donald took my backpack."

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    • Why didn't the 6th of Jan go well? Cause the shitty Trump supporters didn't carry out the damn job correctly and let the president down. Also, hang Mike Pence!

    I was in Russia at a stand-up comedy performance about someone making fun of Putin, but the jokes were awful. The execution was nice, though.

    I, for one, give President Joe Biden my full support, and anything else he can find in my previously rented gym locker. 🤣

    Roses are red, Obama is well spoken, I'm sorry sir, but the ice cream machine is broken.

    Dude: Hey dude guess who I am?

    Viewers: Dora.

    Trump: No, I am President Trump.

    Viewers: Why are you wearing Dora’s clothes and backpack?

    Trump: Today we are going to build a wall.

    Viewers: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

    Why is Donald Trump under so much stress?

    Because he signed up to be on an album where somebody says "no love for the rich" on it.