President jokes
A plane is going to crash. There are four passengers and only three parachutes. All the staff are safe and are gone, leaving the passengers. Ryan Reynolds is the first. He says, "My fans need me," and jumps. Donald Trump takes another and says, "I am the smartest president," and jumps, leaving one. There is a pope and a boy left. The pope says, "Child, my life is over and yours has just begun, take the last parachute." The boy replies, "Don't worry - Donald took my backpack."
Why didn't the 6th of Jan go well? Cause the shitty Trump supporters didn't carry out the damn job correctly and let the president down. Also, hang Mike Pence!
Why is Bill the bad guy?
Monica wanted to suck dick.
I was in Russia at a stand-up comedy performance about someone making fun of Putin, but the jokes were awful. The execution was nice, though.
Why didn't Trump beat Biden?
Because he couldn't trump that bitch!
I, for one, give President Joe Biden my full support, and anything else he can find in my previously rented gym locker. 🤣
It's past April Fool's Day, and we still have a joke as president.
What kind of trumpet are you playing?
An "Donald Trumpet"!
What do Joe Biden and orphans have in common?
No one loves them!
Roses are red, Obama is well spoken, I'm sorry sir, but the ice cream machine is broken.
JFK
Half is definitely a bottom.
Dude: Hey dude guess who I am?
Viewers: Dora.
Trump: No, I am President Trump.
Viewers: Why are you wearing Dora’s clothes and backpack?
Trump: Today we are going to build a wall.
Viewers: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Why is Donald Trump under so much stress?
Because he signed up to be on an album where somebody says "no love for the rich" on it.
"In my opinion, JFK was the best president."
"Why?"
"He was very open-minded!"
What do JFK’s killer and a prostitute have in common?
“They both blow heads.”
Q: What did Donald Trump say after America gave him the boot?
A: What am I supposed to do with one boot?
What do you call the United States of America under a Joe Biden presidency?
Answer: The Democratic People’s Socialist States of America. We're still America, just a different kind of America. And that’s no joke. 😔
This joke's short just like Joe Biden's penis.
Oh wait, if I were to make a joke to the size of Joe Biden's penis, I wouldn't write a joke.
Okay, the joke's over. Bring back Trump!
Joe Biden was once president, but he got arrested because he got caught fingering a minor.