I like turtles.
A man gets on a bus and ends up sitting next to a very attractive nun. Enamored with her, he asks if he can have sex with her. Naturally, she says no and gets off the bus. The man goes to the bus driver and asks him if he knows of a way for him to have sex with the nun.
"Well," says the bus driver, "every night at 8 o'clock, she goes to the cemetery to pray. If you dress up as God, I'm sure you could convince her to have sex with you."
The man decides to try it, and dresses up in his best God costume. At eight, he sees the nun and appears before her.
"Oh, God!" she exclaims. "Take me with you!" The man tells the nun that she must first have sex with him to prove her loyalty. The nun says yes, but tells him she prefers anal sex. Before you know it, they're getting down to it, having nasty, grunty, loud sex. After it's over, the man pulls off his God disguise.
"Ha, ha! I'm the man from the bus!"
"Ha, ha!" says the nun, removing her costume. "I'm the bus driver!"
Why did Beethoven get rid of his chickens? They were always saying "Bach, Bach, Bach". And his cows preferred Moo-zak.
She later made me a sandwich, and she cut the crust off it.
I guess age is just a number, but in your boyfriend's case, a personal preference.
I didn’t like my beard at first. Then it grew on me.
My friend told me I should be a stand up comedian but... I prefer sitting.
I like my coffee the way I like jokes about my coffee, I don't.
You know what a big ass is. If I told you it's a fake ass, so I'm lesbo.
Cooper and Max want to get fucked in the ass by guys.
What's the difference between homework and a hooker? They both start with an "H", but we all know which one we would like to do.
Why am I gay?
Because I like mushrooms.
Q: What is a skeleton's favorite color?
A: Blue stop signs.
Me: I’m going to get burrito 🌯
Friend: You can have my burrito baby.
Gay.
Friend: *begins to moan*
Me: Finna hang up.
I like my women how I like my wine.
Aged 9 years and lives in the basement.
If you're ever bored, pee on an android. Apple is better!
Why do the French eat snails?
They don’t like fast food!
Who likes penis?
My cousin!
The first windmill said to the second, "What's your favorite type of music?"
The second windmill said, "I'm a big metal fan!"
I like my coffee like I like my women.
Big tits.
