Stephen Hawking prefers rolls to slices of bread.
Why do orphans prefer IKEA to the Home Depot?
Because the Home Depot provides supplies for *a* home. IKEA just provides furniture.
I like my men how I like my coffee...
WITHOUT A FUCKING VAGINA!
Why do orphans prefer iPhones under the iPhone X? Because they have a home button.
Did you know, the average gay person likes men?
I like my men like I like my Alexa:
By my bed and turned on.
What are chocolate's preferred gender pronouns?
Her-she.
I have a confession. I used to be a Christian.
Don’t bother me none, babe!
Awesome! I much prefer being a Christine!
“Hol up”
All of a guy's sons came out gay. He ordered 10 shots in a bar.
The bartender asks, "Do you have anyone in your family who likes women?"
The man said, "My wife does!"
I bet you like men!
Why do you like cream instead of bugs?
Because bugs can kill you.
I dislike the UK with a great taste.
I think about my life, and then I think about death. I prefer death. If you ask me, life is just a time when you die. Basically, death is life, meaningless 0-0.
I would rather be drugged and robbed by Cardi B than listen to her f***ing music.
Your favorite music artist is Cardi B? I prefer Cardi A+ if I'm being honest.
Three sons left home, went out into the world, and each of them made a lot of money. During a reunion, they discussed the gifts they'd given to their elderly mum.
"I built a big house for our mum," said the first.
"I sent her a Mercedes, with a chauffeur," said the second.
And the third smiled and said, "I think my gift was the best. You know how much mum enjoyed reading the Bible? And you know that her eyes aren't so good anymore? Well, I sent her a remarkable cockatoo that recites the entire Bible, both old and new testaments. It took a priest twelve years to teach him. That cockatoo is the only one in the world that can do it. All mum has to do is name the chapter and verse, and the cockatoo recites it."
A few days later, mum sent out her thankyou letters. She wrote to the first son,
"The house you built is so enormous that I only live in one room. The trouble is, I have to clean the whole house."
To the second son she said, "I'm far too old to travel anymore. I stay at home most of the time, so I've hardly used the Mercedes. In any case, the driver is so rude."
To the third son she wrote "Dearest Freddie. You have the good sense to know what your mum likes. The chicken was delicious!"
What's the difference between a goat and a sex slave?
I don't have a slave in my sex dungeon.
I was lying on the bed the other night and my missus was playing with my cock, trying to get it to go hard. She asked me what's the matter? I said, "I just don't find women without hair very attractive."
I want an almond-flavored biscuit.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Cash.
Cash who?
No thanks, I prefer walnuts!
