I ain't f***ing with you, there's 1 million things I'd rather f***ing do.
Preference Jokes
Dark humor is like food; some people get it, others don't...
Who likes dick? Answer me!
Emos are weird to me because they dress up all black, and you know I don't like that, so that's why I don't like it.
Billy Bob like pineapple.
I like porn a lot. I was wondering if you guys can talk to me.
She's a 10, but she doesn't like sex.
What's the difference between a golf ball and a G-spot?
A man will actually look for the golf ball.
Satanism is such an ugly word. I prefer the term, "red skin appreciation."
What's the difference between a hooker and a burrito?
I don't eat burritos.
I revealed my dick to my girlfriend.
As she saw it, she said, "Nevermind, just finger me."
Why are emo jokes so infamous?
They cut deep.
Why isn’t the Moon Emo anymore?
Turns out it was just a phase.
How many emos like anagrams?
Some.
What do you call those who remain My Chemical Romance fans?
Emold.
What is the connection between Emos and Darth Vader?
They both dress in all black and none of them has a father.
What do you call flat-chested emo?
A cutting board.
How many emo kids does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Who cares, let them cry in the dark.
Why did the emo kid leave the food on the table?
It was the Happy Meal.
Anthony went into the bakery and ordered Emo Cake.
“Emo cake?” says the baker. ”What exactly is it?”
Anthony says, “It’s the cake that cuts itself.”
How do you pull an emo from a tree?
Cut the rope.
What’s the similarity between emos and unsalted popcorn?
They’re both white and flavorless.
What do emo birds call their mouths?
Bleaks.
What do you call an obese emo teen?
An edgelord.
Recommended: Fat Jokes
What do you call a gang of emo kids?
Suicide Squad.
How are cats and emos different from one another?
The cat still has 8 other lives.
Why does emo get tattoos of fruits on their arms?
They are playing Fruit Ninja.
What will you call Sonic if he’s an emo?
Sonic the Edgy hog.
Why would the emo swallow a clock?
So he could wake up inside.
Why are Emos still around?
Because the suffering never ends.
What is the best way to get an emo off your balcony?
You encourage them.
What kind of bath bomb does an Emo prefer?
A toaster.
What is the favorite game of an emo?
Hangman.
Why do people wish their lawn grass was emo?
So it could cut itself.
A group of friends started an emo salsa band.
They call themselves HisPanic at the Disco.
What is the difference between pizza and emo pizza?
Emo pizza kind of cuts itself.
What's better: nailing Jesus or getting nailed?
Depends on who's sucking.
I like my women like I like my wine. 16 years old and locked in a basement.
I never do dark jokes, but when I feel like it, I prefer orphan jokes, 'cause they're the safest option. I mean, what are they gonna do, call their parents?
I like my women like I like my traction control: disabled.
"Goodness, that's what Post Malone sounds like?"
"Give me some pre-Malone hip hop any day!"
I don't blame Amber Heard for wanting Elon Musk, especially if Johnny Depp is hairy and smells like a port-o-potty full of cigarettes and gunsmoke.
Blondes like their men how they like their rice: brown, 500 at a time, and all in her bowl.
According to a recent poll, your mother said, "I like the guy who saw the guy who doesn't have a brain!"
