Politics jokes
If you got a priest, a Rhodes scholar, and a politician in a room, what would you get?
The Royal Commission.
Alternatively, Tony Abbott.
What's the difference between a gun and a penis?
The American government does not define you as having the constitutional right to a penis.
Hitler only wanted peace.
A piece of Poland, a piece of Czechoslovakia, and a piece of Turkey.
Why is America bad at playing Clash of Clans?
Because they already lost two towers.
"Hitler wasn't such a bad guy, after all, he did kill Hitler."
Memes
What is Vladimir Putin's favorite song?
Answer: Crimea River!
What was Hitler known for?
His exceptional cost efficiency.
What do you call a nazi that can’t see?
A nozi.
What do you call a blind German?
A Nazi/Nattzee.
Why is the Azovstal Steel Plant important to the Russian?
Because it stores Zelensky's balls of steel!
How is there evidence of climate change?
The liberal snowflakes are drastically melting down!
People have been telling me that you can get things for free now.
The other day I saw a sign saying "FREE PALESTINE."
Mario: Princess Peach got kidnapped again!
Luigi: Where did they go?
Mario: To the left.
Luigi: Fuck
What was JFK's favorite school TV show?
BrainPop.
"Sharing is communism."
Bro, the US keeps bullying the UK because the queen died, and do you know the meme "No Bitches?" Yeah, they put "No Queen" instead. And guess what? The UK replied this time and said, "No Towers?" I was shocked. UK's most devious lick.
What do you call a German that can't see? A Notsee.
I would tell a Biden joke except everyone would not stop falling asleep (including him).
Who is Osama Bin Laden’s secret cousin? Barack Obama or Barack Osama Bin Laden?
What do the Nicaraguan Contras, Crips, and Crack have in common? The CIA.