A plane is going to crash. There are four passengers and only three parachutes. All the staff are safe and are gone, leaving the passengers. Ryan Reynolds is the first. He says, "My fans need me," and jumps. Donald Trump takes another and says, "I am the smartest president," and jumps, leaving one. There is a pope and a boy left. The pope says, "Child, my life is over and yours has just begun, take the last parachute." The boy replies, "Don't worry - Donald took my backpack."
What do you get when you cross Donald Trump with Fregley?
Orange juice.
A man dies and goes to heaven. When he gets there, he sees an angel standing in the center of a room, surrounded by clocks. The man goes over to the angel and says, "What are these clocks for?" The angel looks at him. "These are lie clocks," the angel says, "every time someone lies, it ticks once. Mother Teresa never lied, so hers is at noon, and Honest Abe only lied twice." The man asks, "Where is Bill Clinton's clock?" The angel smiles, then points up at the fan.
What’s the difference between a feminist and a rock?
A rock can break a glass ceiling.
How many feminazis does it take to change a light bulb?
None, because they can't change anything.
An announcement from your Most High Comrade
"Consent is just some fucked up feminist propaganda."
What's another name for an Incel? A feminist.
What do you get when you cross breed a bear with a retarded person?
A feminist (a hairy and brainless beast).
What do ICE and Mexican drug cartels both have in common?
They both kidnap Canadian women!
What happens when a furry takes over Nazi Germany?
The Furred Reich.
Why is American bad at Clash of Clans?
Because they already lost 2 towers.
Muslims love to exaggerate, that's why they always blow things up.
BLM.
When is the only time Kamala Harris is using her head? When she is giving head.
Russia is so corrupt that Putin was voted most sexiest man.
If Hitler was a comedian, he would use laughing gas.
The "S" in Putin stands for smart.
George Floyd is truly breathtaking.
What Did Iran Say To Oman?
"Oh man, I ran out of ideas!"
What is the difference between artificial vanilla and Marjorie Taylor Greene's children?
Artificial vanilla comes from a beaver's asshole, the children from an asshole's beaver.
