Politics jokes
The people in the Democratic Party are how I like my coffee.
Black and bitter.
The teacher asks, "Who is a Trump fan?" Everyone in the class, wanting to be liked by their teacher, all put their hands up, except for Little Johnny. The teacher asks, "Little Johnny, why are you being different again?" Little Johnny says, "Because I'm not a Trump fan." The teacher asks, "Why are you not a Trump fan?" and Little Johnny says, "Because my dad's a democrat and my mum's a democrat so I'm a democrat." And then his teacher says, "So if your dad was an idiot and your mum was a moron, what would that make you?" And Little Johnny replies, "A Trump fan."
Kamala Harris is so ugly that Joe Biden is shaking hands with invisible people!
Who killed Hitler goes to Heaven.
*looks up*
Oh, never mind.
What is a Mexican's only obstacle?
Border patrol.
Memes
An announcement from your Most High Comrade
A plane is going to crash. There are four passengers and only three parachutes. All the staff are safe and are gone, leaving the passengers. Ryan Reynolds is the first. He says, "My fans need me," and jumps. Donald Trump takes another and says, "I am the smartest president," and jumps, leaving one. There is a pope and a boy left. The pope says, "Child, my life is over and yours has just begun, take the last parachute." The boy replies, "Don't worry - Donald took my backpack."
What do you get when you cross Donald Trump with Fregley?
Orange juice.
A man dies and goes to heaven. When he gets there, he sees an angel standing in the center of a room, surrounded by clocks. The man goes over to the angel and says, "What are these clocks for?" The angel looks at him. "These are lie clocks," the angel says, "every time someone lies, it ticks once. Mother Teresa never lied, so hers is at noon, and Honest Abe only lied twice." The man asks, "Where is Bill Clinton's clock?" The angel smiles, then points up at the fan.
What’s the difference between a feminist and a rock?
A rock can break a glass ceiling.
How many feminazis does it take to change a light bulb?
None, because they can't change anything.
"Consent is just some fucked up feminist propaganda."
What happens when a furry takes over Nazi Germany?
The Furred Reich.
What do you get when you cross breed a bear with a retarded person?
A feminist (a hairy and brainless beast).
What's another name for an Incel? A feminist.
Why is American bad at Clash of Clans?
Because they already lost 2 towers.
What do ICE and Mexican drug cartels both have in common?
They both kidnap Canadian women!
Muslims love to exaggerate, that's why they always blow things up.
BLM.
If Hitler was a comedian, he would use laughing gas.
The "S" in Putin stands for smart.