Politics jokes
Why does Mexico not have an Olympic team?
Because all of them that can jump, swim, and run are already here.
What is Hitler's favorite letter?
Not-Z.
What is the difference between Putin and an onion?
Nobody cries because of a cut Putin.
Women deserve rights and lefts.
You get on an elevator and you find the Pope and Donald Trump cowering from two snarling wolves. In your hand you find a revolver with only two bullets in it... what do you do?
You shoot the Pope and the Donald each in a leg and exit the elevator at the next stop.
A conman, a mentally handicapped person, and a Russian spy walk into a bar.
And the bartender asks, "What will it be, Mr. President?"
An American and a Russian are talking. The American says, "We in America have the best democracy. We can stand in front of the White House and shout with impunity: \"The American President is a moron!\""
"We can do that too," says the Russian, walking with the American to the Kremlin and shouting: "The American President is a moron!"
What is white, black, and blue all at the same time?
Barack Obama.
Q: What did Donald Trump say after America gave him the boot?
A: What am I supposed to do with one boot?
The teacher asks, "Who is a Trump fan?" Everyone in the class, wanting to be liked by their teacher, all put their hands up, except for Little Johnny. The teacher asks, "Little Johnny, why are you being different again?" Little Johnny says, "Because I'm not a Trump fan." The teacher asks, "Why are you not a Trump fan?" and Little Johnny says, "Because my dad's a democrat and my mum's a democrat so I'm a democrat." And then his teacher says, "So if your dad was an idiot and your mum was a moron, what would that make you?" And Little Johnny replies, "A Trump fan."
BLM.
Kamala Harris is so ugly that Joe Biden is shaking hands with invisible people!
What is a Mexican's only obstacle?
Border patrol.
Who killed Hitler goes to Heaven.
*looks up*
Oh, never mind.
Hitler walks into his meeting room, turns to his trusted staff, and says, “I want you to organize the execution of 10,000 Jews and one kitten.”
Everyone looks around the table and, after a long silence, Goering pipes up. “Mein Fuhrer, why do you want to kill a kitten?”
Hitler smiles and turns to the rest of the table. “You see, no one cares about the Jews.”
A man dies and goes to heaven. When he gets there, he sees an angel standing in the center of a room, surrounded by clocks. The man goes over to the angel and says, "What are these clocks for?" The angel looks at him. "These are lie clocks," the angel says, "every time someone lies, it ticks once. Mother Teresa never lied, so hers is at noon, and Honest Abe only lied twice." The man asks, "Where is Bill Clinton's clock?" The angel smiles, then points up at the fan.
What’s the difference between a feminist and a rock?
A rock can break a glass ceiling.
How many feminazis does it take to change a light bulb?
None, because they can't change anything.
"Consent is just some fucked up feminist propaganda."
Why is American bad at Clash of Clans?
Because they already lost 2 towers.