Politics jokes
Why did Marx never drink Earl Grey?
Because proper tea is theft.
The Pentagon is changing the nuclear codes to over 140 characters, ...
so Trump can't tweet it.
How do Mexicans feel about Trump's wall? -- They'll get over it.
What do Japanese men do when they vote?
They have an erection.
Russian history in 5 words: "And then things got worse."
How's Donald Trump going to get rid of all the Mexicans? -- Juan by Juan.
Apparently, Monica Lewinsky didn't vote for Hillary Clinton this election. She said the last Clinton presidency left a bad taste in her mouth.
What do you call a Communist sniper? -- A Marxman.
If Al Gore started a math rock band, it should be called Algorhythm.
What does Bill say to Hillary after sex? -- "Honey, I'll be home in 20 minutes."
Why does Bill Clinton wear boxers? -- To keep his ankles warm.
9 out of 10 doctors recommend for children to drink water instead of soda. That 1 doctor lives in Flint, Michigan.
What’s the difference between a politician and a flying pig? -- The letter F.
Donald Trump wants to ban the sale of pre-shredded cheese.
He wants to make America grate again.
If Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump are in a boat and it capsizes. Who survives? -- America.
Yo mama is so classless, she could be a Marxist utopia.
What is Donald Trump’s favorite nation? – Discrimination.
What is the opposite of Progress?
Congress.
What do you call disabled people that follow politics?
A special interest group.
Why don't North Koreans like jazz music?
Because they don't have soul.