Politics jokes
What do you say when Trump is still president during 2020? Magic!
Donald Trump is making hospitals so poor that they are using kidney beans for their transplants.
Why can North Korea draw a straight line? Because they've got a supreme ruler.
What will Donald Trump build in our devices?
A firewall.
Are you guys alright?
If you answered yes then you are wrong. You are all LEFT. Kill me, hmph.
(This joke was taken from that none funny b*tch on Britain's Got Talent)
Why did Vladimir Putin get bad grades? -- Because he was Russian.
How do you finger a feminist? Shake her hand and call her Theresa.
What do you call a communist?
Braxton.
My favorite sex position is the JFK. I splatter all over her while she screams and tries to get out of the car.
What do you call a frozen communist?
Hammer and popsicle.
Who does Adolph Hitler call in an emergency?
Nein, nein, nein!
How do Germans tie their shoes? Answer: In Nazis!
What does Matthew McConaughey say at the Republican convention...
We're gonna take back what is ours, alt right, alt right, alt right, hee heeeee...
What do you get when you cross Donald Trump with Fregley?
Orange juice.
Why did Iran, ran?
Iran said, "I ran away!"
The Trump cocktail. Take a large glass and fill it with an ounce of everything behind the bar. Top it with whipped cream and a cherry. Now for the hard part: finding a Mexican to pay for it.
When China built the Great Wall, the Mongols invaded them and founded the Yuan dynasty. With Trump building his wall, will the Mexicans invade the US and found the Juan dynasty?
Donald Trump announced he will run for prez today. His hair will on Friday.
Your mum is so stupid, she tried to take the crown off a "Keep Calm and Carry On" poster so that she could become the new queen of England.
JFK did a good job spreading around on his final speech.