Politician jokes
What do you call the Christian version of Donald Trump? Holy shit!
What is white with red all over?...
JFK.
Donald Trump is proudly anti-woke. He has been falling asleep in his court cases every morning!
Your move, Ron DeSantis.
Politicians and diapers have one thing in common: they should both be changed regularly... and for the same reason.
Trump and Biden didn’t get the memo.
Why does Joe Biden call women muffins?
'Cause muffins backwards is sniffum.
What's the difference between Chaplin and a politician in a wheelchair?
Chaplin does stand-up comedy, and the politician does sit-down... comedy.
Why are most politicians in the closet or gay?
Because all they can do is mandate.
What comment did the United States Senator Kamla Harris make when one of her 64% blue dog democrat constituents called her incompetent?
"Sometimes I sits and thinks, and sometimes I just sits!"
Why is Joe Biden afraid of getting COVID?
Because he'd lose his sense of smell.
What did Darth Trump Vader say to evil emperor Putin?
"Yesssss Massager!"
Why is Biden a priest?
So kids call him father.
What's the difference between Donald Trump and Derek Vinyard?
A shaved head, a chest tattoo, and a moustache.
What does Joe Biden say to young girls when he leaves the room?
"Smell ya later!"
Somebody told me to go to hell, so I walked up to Donald Trump.
My name is Joe Biden, and I am running for US Senate.
"When Republicans do politics, it's a crime. But when Democrats commit crimes, it's politics." ---Tyler Nixon
Look, I'm innocent. I was just going on vacation in NY, but my co-pilot said: "Hit it with your best shot."
What do you get when you cross a clergyman and a politician?
A panhandler.
Trump's medical records were just released. According to the brain scan, the left side of his brain has nothing right, while the right side has nothing left.
A thief walks up to a man in a suit and pulls out a gun. The thief says: "Give me your money." The man in the suit turns around surprised. He raises his hands and says: "But, wait! You can't do that, I am a Congressman!" The thief replies: "Oh, sorry. Give me MY money."