Pokemon

Pokemon jokes

Test

    • I wanna be the very best, like no one ever was.

    To bitch them is my real test, to train them is my cause.

    I will travel across the land, searching far and wide.

    Fuse Pokemon to UnderStand, the power that’s inside.

    Poke him on! Gotta train them all it’s Fru and me, All I know is my dress tiny, Poke him on! Yeah, you’re my best friend, In a world you must defend, Poke him on! Gotta train them all my shirts so true, My outrage will flush us through. You bitch me and I ditch you, P-O-K-E-M-O-N!!! Gotta train them all, Gotta train them all! Pokemon!

    Girlfriend

    • My girlfriend told me to stop playing Pokemon as it was childish.

    I started thrashing about and roared, “You don’t have enough badges to control me!”

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    • Pokemon memes

    Invasion

    • Shit, if somebody invades America, the Crips and the Bloods are gonna call a truce so that they can get the big toys out and call Geneva achievement. White women would ride into battle riding lions, tigers, and bears while claymore-strapped rhumbas swept the streets. There's a reason Putin keeps threatening to boom boom us with the boom booms and make you see x-rays before you go go.

    We have freaking cannibals still. Hell, we have more guns than people. Dodging bullets has become a rite of passage. Just look at how we raise our kids on caffeine and M16s playing Call of Duty. Then we send them into the warzone known as the American public education system with no weapons. No means to protect themselves other than with their fists. Here Timmy, fight off the bullets with your bare fist and hope you can zig-zag. Hell, the quiet kids in this country start dropping bodies just cause you teased them. The fuck you think's gonna happen when Timmy can't get his damn chicken nuggets and you took his internet out?

    Hell, the gangs in America would no longer make their money off the drugs illegally. They'd be our medics and taking bets on kill shots. Don't even get me started on the unhinged millennials the moment they can't get their mood stabilizers. War crimes would become an art form and we'd run around like we playing Pokemon. GOTTA CATCH 'EM ALL! Americans would turn war crimes into an extreme sport while the military stands back and records it just so they can show the rest of the world the example of why not to fuck with us. Shit, Geneva Convention would turn into a to-do list on every American household fridge. We take that shit so seriously we'd have Comedy Central sending Kevin Hart to tell us rules for engagement. Racism in America would be single-handedly by ended as Billy Bob and Tyrone high five because they think they just unlocked the super secret duck hunt level with foreign paratroopers. Shit somebody please threaten us with a good time. Invade the United States. Let us show you why the first color in our flag is red.

    Fire

    • Charizarding.

    When you light a girl's pubes on fire, put it out with your jizz, then flap your arms and say, "You don't have enough badges to train me!"

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    • Snow

    • Snover1: You can't pass through Snow Way!

    Squirtle: Why can't I pass through Snow Way?

    Snover1: There's snow in the way.

    Snover2: Yeah, you can't get past through the snow while it's on the way, to continuous.

    Squirtle: What? There's snow in here the whole time. What is this? Snow Society?!

    "AAAAARRRGGH!!"

    Squirtle: Who is that?

    Snover2: That is Snow.

    Squirtle: What?! That giant snow tree thing is Abomasnow!

    Snover2: Oops! Don't be a Halt!

    "Haaaaaaaaallllltttt!!!"

    "Aaaaaauuuuggghhhh!"

    Snovers: That was a JOKE, Squirtle be FROZEN, just let it go, let it go!

    Knife

    • What did Charizard say to Arceus? "Knife to meet you, literally. I got you out of Pokémon Sword and Shield!"

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