New Point Jokes - Page 9 - Worst Jokes Ever

Why didn’t Harry Potter use the chamber to teach Dumbledores army?

Because at one point poisonous gases where put in it

A pedophile is at a School Parent night. He's holding hands with a Eight year old Girl when he's approached by another parent. She says to him oh what a darling little girl you have there. The Pedophile replies no then points his finger to a child across the room and says that's my child.

3 people explored the jungles, one was was France, one from Britain, and the other from America. While exploring, they were captured by the tribe living there. The tribesmen told the three "You three have invaded our territory, so we must kill you and use your bodies to create canoes. However we aren't that heartless so we'll let you choose your deaths." So the French guy asked for a gun, pointed to his head and said "Viva la France" and shot himself. The Britain guy requested for poison and said "For the queen" and drank the poison. Lastly the American asked for a spoon, the tribesmen were confused but still gave him the spoon. When the American got the spoon, he started stabbing himself "Try make a canoe out of this one!"

Friend 1: I HATE YOU! Friend 2: *cries* b-but i-i didnt say t-that!! Friend 3: *writes on paper with pencil cuz is so bored* Me: *points at pencil lead* NOW NOW NOW THIS HAS *LEAD* TO SOME SERIOUS FRIENDSHIP LOSS! plz shut up. All my friends: *groan at horrible pun*

Why was the blunt pencil bad at making speeches? It never had a point.

2 mums hook up! Their daughter comes in the room and says which ones the baby daddy? the "mum" points to the woman who was actually a man!

A bicurious man goes to a gar bar A gay man offers him a drink The bi man explains he doesnt know if hes gay or not Thats fine he says lets just have a drink The gay man asks him for a dance and he explains again he isnt sure if hes gay or not. Eventually the gay man invites him to go home with him to hang out as friends. They get to his house and the gay man says, do you fancy having sex? He isnt sure so the gay man explains ill push in slow and at any point you want to stop make animal sounds and if you like it starr singing.so they get to it and the gay man pushs in slowly, the bi man bursts out "MOOOOO MOOOOO MOOOOOOVVVEE CCLOSSEEERRRR

Me: (pointing up in the air) "Everybody listen up, this is a robbery!"

Girl: "Dude, this is a library."

Me: "Oh." (screwing on a silencer)

To Write With a Broken Pencil Is pointless

Bambi was calmly eating grass. All of a sudden, a red dot pointed near his heart caught his attention. He looked around anxiously, and he saw a man in camouflage. He whispered, "Time to join mother, Bambi!" Bambi knew what this meant. He ran. He heard a gunshot, followed by a wave of extreme pain. Bambi fell to the ground. He glanced at his leg, which was no longer attached to his body. The man in camouflage came up to him and stabbed him in the heart. Everything went black...

Se we are in class right, and the teacher has a metal leg. Every year she gets the question of "do metal detectors beep every time you walk by them?" She herd this question to the point were she just says yes without hesitation. Once she had said yes, two kids int he back started laughing. Teacher: Ok alright, take it a little bit more seriously would you? Kid: Oh were not laughing at that. Kid_2: Were laughing at cancer.

Jim walks into a bar and asks for a shot of vodka. He then says to the barkeep, "Who's the toughest guy in here?" The barkeep points to a man at the pool table. Jim then knocked him out and paid for the shot and left. He did this every Friday for 2 months. Finally, the barkeep is pissed because Jim keeps knocking out all of his customers. He then orders a gorilla and puts him in the bathroom. Jim walks into the bar and gets another shot of vodka. He asks again, "Who's the toughest guy in here tonight?" The bartender points to the bathroom and says he's in there. Jim walks into the bathroom and everyone in the bar can hear yelling and screaming. The bartender asks, "What happened in there?" Jim smiles and says, "I don't know who that was, but when he wakes up tell him I put his fur jacket int the toilet."

I have fun goin on dem roller coasters that go really high up and sittin by random people and once we get to the high point I look at the stranger and go wham and unplug they seat bealt

My pensil sharpener broke so now my pensil is poinless.

I tried writing with a dull pencil the other day, but there was no point.

A man is sitting in a chair. He is talking to the other freind about what they must cherish. One says he cherishes his family the other cherishes his parents and a man comes in points at the chair’s and says “I CHAIRish my Chair” as he pulls up a chair.

I walked into a store and I pointed a stick to the roof and i said"this is a stick up"

Knock, knock. Who's there? Dave. Dave who? Dave proceeds to break into tears as his grandmother's Alzheimer's has progressed to the point where she can no longer remember him.