Pleasing jokes

Weight

  • Why I can’t be skinny? I hurt myself for fatting. - Jenny

    Hello please I want gain wait. - Jenny year later.

  • 2
  • Halloween

  • I have to say that Halloween is my favorite day...

    Every time they see me, kids and mothers run away...

    I don’t have a costume so please don’t reprimand...

    When I open up the door, I’ve got my penis in my hand.

  • 0
  • Pancake

  • It’s sleepover, with three kids, which are friends. Kid 1: let’s eat pancake! Kid 2: agreed! The kid named Pancake:

    The image shows Michael Scott from the office, looking distressed with his mouth open. The text on the image says "NO, GOD! NO, GOD, PLEASE NO! NO! NO!" at the top and "NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" at the bottom.
  • 1
  • Pedophile

  • A pedophile brings his eight-year-old daughter to the doctor's office. The doctor asked her if she would like some candy? Her father replies, "Please, no more candy for her. I gave her enough today."

  • 0
  • Name

  • Frank: "I am named Frank because my grandpa lived in Frankfurt during his best years."

    Finley: "I am named Finley because my grandmother was in Finland during her early twenties!"

    Mia: "Can we please change the subject?"

  • 5
  • Shop

  • So, a person walked into a shop.

    Shop guy: "Hey RETARD RETARD RETARD RETARD RETARD RETARD RETARD RETARD RETARD RETARD RETARD RETARD RETARD RETARD RETARD RETARD RETARD RETARD RETARD RETARD RETARD RETARD RETARD RETARD RETARD RETARD RETARD RETARD RETARD RETARD RETARD RETARD RETARD RETARD RETARD RETARD RETARD RETARD RETARD RETARD RETARD RETARD RETARD RETARD."

    This is REALLY funny.

    Please upvote, comment, and like.

    Thank you very much.

  • 3
  • Schedule

  • Updated - Grad 2020 Commencement Groupings.

    Updated - Grad 2020 Commencement Schedule.pdf

    Dear Grad Parents, Please pass the attached Commencement schedule on to your graduate(s). We ask that students arrive 15 minutes prior to their scheduled time and that they do not arrive early. Staff will greet the students outside the main entrance. Students may wear cap and gowns and/or formal wear. There will be more information to follow in the coming days. Thank you.

    (Shared from the "Wolves E-genda" app.)

    Child

  • Dear Gwen,

    Gwen, when I said sorry, I meant that as a sarcastic "why" and point of view!

    TBH, you make me sick as a dog! Also, you're so annoying; stop holding that anger in. BTW, I AM A SPECIAL CHILD!

    BTW, I am 6 years old BTW!

    Please comment good or not! Irdc!

    Worker

  • How to get 60 Translink workers? Please head out of the pool because ya'll are fat. Oh wait, didn't you poop yourself? Say sorry to your underwear while pooping as a fat Canadian Translink worker, little boy.

  • 0
  • Class

  • Teacher: Now class, if you are dumb, please stand up.

    Class: No one stands up.

    Teacher: Oh, c’mon. I know someone over here is dumb. *teacher waves her finger around the left side of the room.*

    Little Johnny: *stands up.*

    Teacher: Oh, Johnny, you think you’re dumb?

    Little Johnny: No, I just feel bad you’re standing alone.

    Survivor

  • This isn't a joke, but I'm a survivor and use humor to cope. I find these extremely funny, so please leave the people writing these alone 😭

    Banana

  • Broccoli says, "I look like a tree."

    Walnut says, "I look like a brain."

    Cashew says, "I look like a kidney."

    Banana says, "Can we change the topic please?"

  • 0
  • Orphan

  • Me: I’m gonna smite the life out of you!!!

    Orphan: What! No! Please no!

    Me: What you gonna do? Run home and tell your parents? Wait, I forgot, you don’t have a home or parents!!!!