The 300+ Best Pleasing Jokes

To whoever has my voodoo doll, please hold its hand.

jack and jill went up the hill to do it in the water. jack slipped, his condom ripped, and now they have a daughter

please like this. i bet my friend 20 bucks that i would get to 15 likes before him

The broccoli says 'I look like a small tree', the mushroom says 'I look like an umbrella', the walnut says 'I look like a brain', and the banana says 'Can we please change the subject?'

Teacher: Now class, if you are dumb, please stand up. Class: *no one stands up* Teacher: Oh c'mon. I know someone over here is dumb. *waves her finger around the left side of the room* Little Johnny: *stands up* Teacher: Oh, Johnny, you think you're dumb? Little Johnny: No, I just feel bad you're standing alone.

What does PEMDAS stand for?

Please End My Depression And Suffering

At school, Little Johnny’s classmate tells him that most adults are hiding at least one dark secret, so it’s very easy to blackmail them by saying, “I know the whole truth.” Little Johnny decides to go home and try it out. Johnny’s mother greets him at home, and he tells her, “I know the whole truth.” His mother quickly hands him $20 and says, “Just don’t tell your father.” Quite pleased, the boy waits for his father to get home from work, and greets him with, “I know the whole truth.” The father promptly hands him $40 and says, “Please don’t say a word to your mother.” Very pleased, the boy is on his way to school the next day when he sees the mailman at his front door. The boy greets him by saying, “I know the whole truth.” The mailman immediately drops the mail, opens his arms, and says, “Then come give your Daddy a great big hug!”

What's the difference between a amateur thief and a professional thief?

The amateur thief says, "Give me all your money!" The professional thief says, "Sign here please."

Everything is so racist these days, you can't even say black paint anymore. You now have to say "Tyrone can you please paint that wall"

A priest asks the convicted murderer at the electric chair, "Any last requests?" "Yes," replied the murderer, "Will you please hold my hand?"

Yo mama is so fat when she got on the scale it said one at a time please.

Your at your girlfriends house for a family dinner. Your GF says, " Daddy please pass me the salt." when you and her father begin to reach for the salt.

how did Stephan hawking please his woman he uses a hard drive.

Can anyone play me in a no limits femdom rp on kik ?

When a military dies we shoot aII night, when a drunkard dies we drink aII night, when a Christian dies we pray all night. What if a prostitute dies,what should we do???please tell me