What do you call a happy child swinging with her friends at recess?
Not Sally.
What is a playground that is old?
A rotten playground.
A man is sitting on a bench at a playground where children are playing. A man named Chris comes up and asks, “Which one is yours?” The man said, “I don’t know, I’m still deciding.”
Balls.
Teacher: "You can't be here after school without a parent!"
Orphan: -no response-
How come when women decide to kill their unborn baby it's a "choice"? But when I decide to drive my car into a playground full of children it's called "murder."
Why did Suzy fall off the swings? Because she had no arms.
Knock knock. Who’s there? Not Suzy.
What has 4 legs and 1 arm?
A pitbull dog coming back from the kids playground.
What do you call a 6 year old with no friends?
A Sandy Hook survivor.
I told a seal a joke, it went like this: "Why did the kid cross the playground?" He said, "Why?" I said, "To get to the other slide." And then he said, "That's the sealiest thing I've ever heard!"
Why did the child cross the playground? To get to the other slide
What is the difference between a baby and a trampoline?
I take off my boots when I jump on a trampoline.
what's the difference between a baby and a trampoline? the trampoline doesn't cave in when i jump on it.
When the school lets you near children again...
A blonde was down on her luck. In order to raise some money, she decided to kidnap a kid and hold him for ransom.
She went to the playground, grabbed a kid, took him behind a tree, and told him, "I've kidnapped you."
She then wrote a note saying, "I've kidnapped your kid. Tomorrow morning, put $10,000 in a paper bag and put it under the pecan tree next to the slide on the north side of the playground. Signed, Blonde."
The blonde then taped the note to the kid's shirt and sent him home to show it to his parents.
The next morning the blonde checked, and sure enough, a paper bag was sitting beneath the pecan tree. The blonde opened the bag and found the $10,000 with a note that said, "How could you do this to a fellow Blonde?"
You can always bully an orphan. Who are they gonna tell, their parents?!
There were three boys on the top of a slide.
The first one went down yelling "gold!" and landed in a pot of gold. The second boy went down and shouted "pillows!" and landed in a heap of pillows. The final boy went down and shouted "weeeeeeeee!"
Why couldn’t little Susie stay on the swing? She had no arms
Knock knock Who’s there? Not Susie.
Why did Sally fall off the swing?
Thanos snapped.
So there was this kid being bullied by four other kids. I decided to step in.
He didn’t stand a chance against the five of us.
