Playground jokes

Why can't orphans play baseball?

They have no home to run to.

Why didn't the orphans stay at the park for days? Because they had no one to pick them up.

What's an orphan's best friend? A boomerang because it's the only thing that ever came back.

I pushed a kid in a wheelchair and said, "Hot Wheels!"

Why did the orphan go to the playground?

To see if it could find its parents.

What goes up and down and needs two people?

A seesaw.

Why does a kid in a wheelchair get bullied? Because he can’t stand up for himself.

Why can't an orphan play kickball?

Because they can't hit home.

Balls are annoying. They just bounce and never keep still.

Mom: “Guess where I’m taking you, son!”

Son: “To the playground?”

Mom: “No, to the morgue.”

A person could build a playground with your mood swings.

What's harder than steel? Joe Biden at a playground.

I had a huge crush on this girl when I was eight. One recess we met together on the playground, and she brought me to the corner of the playground. That was my first kiss, and from there it got serious. I told my parents a week later and they freaked out, called the police, and they arrested my crush. I miss Mrs. Johnson.

Why do orphans play with other kids on a playground?

So they will sneak into their parents' car to be a brother or sister.

My sister is the weird dark one and emo of the family. I'm the bright happy one. Once in 3rd grade, I got a huge A on mine, and my sis got a D-.

In the playground near a tree, we were sitting and playing. I said, "Hey, a C- is not that bad," and raised my hand up to give her a high five, but she left me hanging.

When a woman decides to abort, it is called a decision, but when I run my truck into a playground of kids, it is called murder.

I kicked a soccer ball at the kid in the wheelchair. Now we're playing Rocket League.

Three kids one day found a magic slide. There was a sign next to it that said, "Slide down and your wish will come true." The first kid slid down and wished for a chocolate river. He landed in a chocolate river.

When the 2nd kid slid down he wished for a bunch of money. He landed in a pile of money.

Finally, the 3rd kid slid down, and he said, "WEEEE!!!!!!"

"So I asked a genie if he could grant me this wish. I wished to be like Michael Jackson. The next day, I was in a playground full of little kids."

Dad: Want to go to the park, kid?

Kid: Sure.

Dad: Come on.

Kid: Why are we at the orphanage?

Dad: Go in.

Why did the kid cross the playground? To get to the other slide!