Playground jokes
A blonde was down on her luck. In order to raise some money, she decided to kidnap a kid and hold him for ransom.
She went to the playground, grabbed a kid, took him behind a tree, and told him, "I've kidnapped you."
She then wrote a note saying, "I've kidnapped your kid. Tomorrow morning, put $10,000 in a paper bag and put it under the pecan tree next to the slide on the north side of the playground. Signed, Blonde."
The blonde then taped the note to the kid's shirt and sent him home to show it to his parents.
The next morning the blonde checked, and sure enough, a paper bag was sitting beneath the pecan tree. The blonde opened the bag and found the $10,000 with a note that said, "How could you do this to a fellow Blonde?"
You can always bully an orphan. Who are they gonna tell, their parents?
There were three boys on the top of a slide.
The first one went down yelling "gold!" and landed in a pot of gold. The second boy went down and shouted "pillows!" and landed in a heap of pillows. The final boy went down and shouted "weeeeeeeee!"
Why couldn’t little Susie stay on the swing?
She had no arms.
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Not Susie.
Why did Sally fall off the swing?
Thanos snapped.
So there was this kid being bullied by four other kids. I decided to step in. He didn’t stand a chance against the five of us.
What has 4 legs and 1 arm? A Doberman in a playground.
Why did the chicken cross the playground?
To get to the other slide.
How do you get a clown off your swing?
You shoot it.
Me and my friend went to the park. After a while, we grabbed our little princess and said, "It's time to go, sweetie." But before we could go, someone said, "Stop them, they have my daughter!"
Why did the child cross the road?
To get to the other slide.
Why did the girl fall off the swing?
Because she had no arms.
Why did Mary fall off the swings?
She got hit by a refrigerator.
What animal has five legs? A pitbull returning from a playground.
What has 4 legs and 1 arm?
A pitbull in a children's play area.
Two guys are on the playground. One guy says to the other, "Did you know that Hellen Keller had a playground in her backyard?" The other guy said, "No." The first guy says, "Neither did she."
Where do religious kids practice sports?
In the prayground.
How were tire swings made?
A tire said, "Goodbye world," and hung himself.
Why did Sally fall off the swings?
Because she had no arms.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Not Sally!
Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms!