Play jokes

What is playing with you?

You are so small that you play hockey against the curb!

What do you play Fallout 4 with low health?

You Fallout.

What happens when Stephen Hawking dies? Windows plays the shutdown music.

I was once playing the bottle flip challenge on the school table with my friend, and when it was his turn, the bottle fell to his eggplant! 😱😂

I don’t like to play games, actually. There is one game: It’s Barbie. Of course, I’ll be Ken, and you’ll be the box cum in.

Why do orphans like playing tennis so much?

Because it’s the only way they’ll ever get love.

Two kids are out in the cold, with downpours of snow erupting from the clouds.

One of the kids says something: "Can we build a snowman that is going through puberty?"

The other kid says something else: "Yes. It sounds cool."

After a while, the snowman was finished, and some words jut out of the first kid's mouth: "Wow! Look at that snowman! It's got hair all over, but I think it's missing something though."

The other kid jumps a little and begins speaking: "Oh, I know what it is!"

After a while, a body part made of a carrot and two cucumbers appears on the snowman's crotch. It is a penis and a ballsack.

The first kid speaks: "Icy what you did there."

The other kid replies: "Good thing I didn't slip up there."

The first kid replies: "Well, that's snow problem."

The other kid then uttered this: "These puns would make the most frigid individual crack up."

The first kid then says: "I know, right?"

They then begin a snowball fight.

The other kid then says: "Only the men have snowballs!"

Tonight I'm making a fort. I'm calling it Fortnite.

The most famous line from Shakespeare’s play Julius Caesar is “Et tu, Brute?”

Why can’t he just speak plain English?

I was playing basketball and a guy in a wheelchair asked if he could play.

I looked at him and told him that we are looking for ankle breakers, yours are already broken.

How does a disabled person play chess?

I think you forgot they don't have legs.

My boyfriend and I were playing baseball last night with some of our friends. Halfway through the game we took a break and he asked me to hold his balls for him whilst he went to the toilet.

All our friends were shocked when I went into the boys' bathroom with him.

Which nut is the best at playing tag?

Catch-yous, aka cashews.

What do you call a fish that doesn't play basketball?

When an orphan is playing baseball, how come the coach doesn't tell them to hit it home?

He has no home to hit to.

I was playing Fortnite with a kid, then I heard their emo sister in the background, and it sounded like they were playing Fortnite, too, with the pistol shot and all.

I play with balls. Not me, the girl that was "playing something."

Why can’t fish play basketball?

'Cause they are scared of the net.

Why can't orphans play baseball? Because they don't know where home is.