Play jokes
What song was played at the flatulent centenarian's birthday? Candle in the Wind!
Why are orphans bad at poker?
They don't know what a full house is.
Why can't an orphan play baseball?
They can't find home.
"Ryan, come out to play-ee-ay!!"
You are playing as Ukraine in Military Tycoon, and then someone kills you. You see who killed you in nuke revenge, and it says "Putinmoserfucer2342."
Why can’t Americans play chess?
They lost 2 towers.
Yo mama is so dumb, she plays Pokémon and doesn’t catch any.
Why do orphans play GTA?
Because they need to know what it’s like to be wanted.
What role does a leper play in the theater?
Voldemort!
Why do orphans suck at baseball? Because they never could play catch.
Why are Americans bad at chess? Because they lost two towers.
What did they do with Michael Jackson when he died?
He got so many plastic surgeries that they melted him down into legos and let kids play with him for a change.
So I was playing on my phone, and my mom said to go and take the trash out, so I pick up my sister and threw her in the garbage bin and said, "Mom told me to." And when I came back in, my mom said not to do that ever again, but then I told her that she says not to lie, so I was doing the right thing. 👍
Why are the UK and the USA bad at playing chess?
Because they lost 2 towers and their queen.
What song do you think was playing at the school?
"Pumped Up Kicks"
I was playing Fortnite with a kid, then I heard their emo sister in the background, and it sounded like they were playing Fortnite, too, with the pistol shot and all.
You are so small that you play hockey against the curb!
1. Full name: John.
2. Proverb: work is not a rabbit, does not run.
3. Favorite meal: the sphinx with the sour cream.
4. Sexual orientation: sexually disorientated.
5. Mental health: mentally retarded.
6. Previous careers: funeral undertaking, after that two years in the circus as the main brown bear, after that in the church school for two years, after this experience five years as a screw in the jail for the worst criminals with the top degree of supervision and now working for the secret services in my home country after gaining the top-secret audit.
7. Favorite pets: dog, bumble bee named Maxo, a butterfly named Redwing and the lizard named Notail.
8. Favorite activities: washing the dishes, cutting the woods, vacuuming and playing hard rock.
9. Working motivation: none.
I hope that you will accept my curriculum vitae and that we will see each other soon already as new colleagues, I wish more or less. Kind regards, John.
How did the air beat me at chess? It did that thing, haha!
I was playing baseball with orphans, but when they hit a homerun, they had nowhere to go.