Play jokes
Me and my wife love playing table tennis. I couldn’t win all day, but when it got dark, I managed to beat her. I don’t know how the police found out so quickly.
Why didn't the pirate want to play cards?
Because he was standing on the deck!
Man, we all have the one cool sibling, then the strong sibling, and then you, the one who plays on their iPad or computer all day. Then, when you are on vacation, you are doing nothing at all.
Why can't an orphan play baseball? They don't know where home is.
When you ask your sister if she wanna smash, but then she grabs the Switch.
Why was the new gamer mad when they were playing Overwatch? Because gamer girl WAS ALREADY TRACER.
Why do orphans become criminals? To know what it’s like to be wanted.
Why are orphans bad at poker? They don’t know what a full house is.
I saw a child crying yesterday, so I asked him where his parents were. Bad move. I got fired from my job at the orphanage.
What do you call an orphan’s family reunion? Me time.
Did you know? The letter ‘f’ in orphan stands for family.
What is an orphan’s least favorite song? We Are Family.
What’s an orphan’s least favorite TV show? Family Guy.
What’s an orphan’s least favorite movie? Meet the Parents.
What’s an orphan’s least favorite type of music? House.
What’s an orphan’s least favorite store? Home Depot.
What’s an orphan’s favorite band? Foster the People.
What do you call a virgin from Alabama? An orphan.
Where do orphan chickens end up? Foster Farms.
What beer do orphans drink? Foster’s.
Why do orphans have water with their cereal? Because their dad never came back with the milk.
What do you call a fish with no parents? An orfin.
Why do orphans like playing tennis? Because it’s the only love they get.
Me: Are you an orphan? Orphan: Yes, what gave me away? Me: Your parents.
"Ryan, come out to play-ee-ay!!"
How do you make a disabled person cry?
Let's go play tag!
Why did the orphan play Monopoly? To at least get some money. #fake
Why are liberals so bad at playing hockey? Because it is played on ICE
What did the Asian parents say when they had a disabled kid?
Sum ting wong.
As siblings, we always joke about being adopted. It stops being funny when you're playing in your parents' room and find both of your adoption papers.
Why did the orphan stop playing baseball?
Because baseball has a home, and an orphan does not.
Laugh now.
Why is Cinderella bad at soccer?
She keeps on running from the ball.
So I'm reading Hamlet, right? And then this one page they like, "Yo, like, Hamlet the fuck t tgo foff off KING speak, yo" 😂 😂 😂 😂 😂 😂 😂 truth ong fr 😂 Face with thing is funny or... 😂 😂 😂 😂 the
"Would you like to play the rape game?"
"No wtf" she replied.
"That's the spirit!"
This pastor decided to skip church one Sunday morning and go play golf.
He told his assistant that he wasn't feeling well. He drove to a golf course in another city, so nobody would know him.
He teed off on the first hole. A huge gust of wind caught his ball, carried it an extra hundred yards and dropped it right in the hole, for a 450 yard hole in one.
An angel looked at God and said "What'd you do that for?" God smiled and said "Who's he going to tell?"
I was playing hide-n-seek with my dad and he hid, but I could never find him till this day.
Did you know the past tense of William Shakespeare is Wouldiwas Shookspeared?