Play jokes
What is small, red, and sitting in the corner?
A baby playing with a scalpel.
I was watching my boyfriend's dog while he took a shower. I started playing fetch with him when the ball went over the balcony. He went to get it and fell 10 stories. When I looked down, he appeared to be dead.
My boyfriend loved his dog and I didn't know what to do, so feeling awful, I sat on the couch and waited for him to come back. About three minutes later he got out of the shower. He ordered some food and went to the table to eat when I said, "You know, your dog's been a little depressed lately..."
Figure: Who wants to play hide and seek?
Seek and Hide: Me.
Figure: Okay, hide and I will hide and Seek will be it.
Seek: Why do I have to be it?
Figure: Because your name says so.
You are so fat and ugly, Chucky didn't even want to play with you.
What is the best feeling for an orphan when he plays Grand Theft Auto?
When he is wanted!
What song was played at the flatulent centenarian's birthday? Candle in the Wind!
On a winter day many play.
Some with snow, and I with ice Used as a device to slice Somehow I'm colder now.
When they say beat that pussy, I don’t play so punch it.
"I heard a noise in the basement! I'm gonna go to my friend's house and play Minecraft with him until the noise I heard goes away."
"I heard a noise in the basement. I'm gonna go down there with a bazooka and thirty thousand rounds of pistol ammo and fifty thousand pistols."
Said no horror movie character ever.
And also GTA logic.
Why doesn't anyone play poker in the jungle? Too many cheetahs.
What position would a man with no legs and arms play in baseball?
Home base.
Why can't England play Clash, Chess, or Checkers?
Because they lost their queen.
"Would you like to play the rape game?"
"No wtf" she replied.
"That's the spirit!"
I was playing hide and seek at work the other day. Unfortunately, it ended with me in the hospital, though; ICU.
What do boobs and toys have in common?
Kids end up playing with toys, but adults end up playing with boobs.
Why don't Pakis play football? Every time they get a corner, they build a shop.
"Wanna play the rape game?"
"No!!!!"
"That's the spirit!"
You look like you're playing hide-and-seek with your hairline.
My wife told me I was immature. I just told her to get out of my pillow fort.
Why can't an orphan play basketball?
Because no one will be cheering them on.