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Lie

A family of 3, a dad, a mom, and a 12 year old son are driving in the car when the dad says, “How about we play a little game of two truths and a lie? It’ll be fun.”

“Ok,” the mom and son reply happily.

“Let me start,” says the son.

“Ok, go ahead,” replies the mom.

“I hate video games, I hate school, and I love junk food,” says the son.

“Ooh ooh! You do love junk food, you do hate school, and you don’t hate video games,” says the mom.

“Your right!” He replies.

“I’ll go next,” says the dad. “I love your mom, you’re adopted, and my dad almost died in WWII.”

“Hmm... Your dad did not almost die in WWII, obviously I’m not adopted, and you do love my mom,” Says the son.

“The lie is the second on,” says the dad.

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  • Baby

    How do you know the baby's dead? The dog plays with it more.

    Game

    Playing a game called 7-Up.

    Student: Why can't I use a pencil to tap their fingers?

    Teacher: It's cheating!

    Student: No! It's the object of the game.

    Orphan

    Name one person who would take an orphan?

    Michael Jackson, so they can play all night.

    Memes

    Orphan

    What do orphans do after they win a game?

    Nothing, they have no one to play games with.

    Car

    A little girl and a little boy are taking a bath together when the little girl looks down and asks, "What's that?"

    The little boy says, "That’s my little red race car."

    Ten minutes later, the boy looks down and asks, "What's that?"

    The little girl says, "That’s my little red race car garage."

    So later that night, the little boy asks the little girl if he can put his little red race car in her little red race car garage. She said yes, and then they pull down their pants and the boy tries putting his little red race car in her garage, but it won’t fit.

    Downstairs, the mother hears an ear-piercing scream and runs up the stairs, flips on the lights and sees blood on the floor. The mother asks, "What happened?"

    The little girl says, "We tried putting his car in my garage and it wouldn’t fit, so I cut the back wheels off."

    Mom

    Why is pounding your mom like playing video games?

    Because once you start, you just can’t stop until you win!

    Sexual act

    Sex

    My neighbor's daughter gave me a three-course meal last night:

    Starters - role play and stripping.

    Main course - Reverse Cowgirl.

    Dessert - Blowy.

    Penis

    What do a penis and a Rubik’s Cube have in common?

    The more you play with it, the harder it gets.

    Kill

    My friend: Hey, I got 15 kills!

    Me: I got 60 kills!

    My friend: I didn't know you played Call of Duty!

    Me: What's Call of Duty?

    Orphan

    Why do orphans hate hide and seek?

    Their parents went to play hide and seek years ago.

    Leopard

    Why couldn’t the leopard play hide and seek? Because he was always spotted.