Play jokes
Why did the actor fall through the floor?
He was just going through a stage!
What is the most awkward moment when Helen Keller is playing pin the tail on the donkey?
Her friends aren’t sure whether to blindfold her.
The other day I went on a romantic cruise in Hawaii. Then I met my girl Zendaya on board. She was shaking her ass and playing with her penis. Then she asked me, "Hey, you wanna make love in the cabin?" I said, "Sure, sweet thang," gave me her number, kissed me on the cheek. Next day she woke up because it was a romantic nightmare.
Why can't British people play chess?
Because they lost their queen.
Why can't Paris play chess? Because they don't have their towers (also known as rooks).
When your baby is stillborn and you have a funeral, what song should you never play?
Alphaville - "Forever Young."
Did you hear about the clam that could play violin?
It had excellent mussel memory.
Why didn't the drummer play?
Because he got a percussion.
Play dead, they said.
Wasn't too hard.
I've been dead inside for years.
Q: Why doesn't Jesus play hockey?
A: He hates getting nailed to the boards.
What's the difference between soccer and a dead baby?
I don't wear steel cap boots when I play soccer.
I was born and raised in Newcastle.
My grandfather used to tell me stories about Penaldo, a goblin from Portugal that travels to England when Newcastle is playing. He scores a tapin and then disappears until the next Newcastle game. I still have nightmares that he’s in our stadium.
What has 2 legs and loves to play with little kids? The local priest.
Playing Russian roulette alone means you're bound to be a winner eventually.
Little Johnny walked into his parents' room to see them going at it.
He asked his mom what they were doing, and she said, "Uh, we're play fighting," and he's like, "With no clothes on?"
She said, "Yeah," and so he said, "Let me join you then..."
Why can't an orphan play baseball?
They don't know where home is.
Why can't an orphan play baseball?
They can't find home.
What game can an emo play on their wrists without an ink pen?
Tic-tac-toe.
I saw a little boy playing alone in the street. I told him that was a bad idea, then asked for his parents.
God, orphanages are fun to work at!!
If you play the movie "Jaws" in reverse, it's a heartwarming story about a shark who gives arms and legs to disabled people.