Play jokes
Jace: Haha, I won, dude. You suck at Monopoly!
Timmy: Let's play another game. *GUNSHOT* I guess I won!
Jace: *SCREAMS IN PAIN*
Timmy: What? I thought we were playing Chutes and Ladders!
What do you call two Latinos playing baseball one on one?
A pun, a play on words, and a limerick walk into a bar.
No joke!
The other day I went on a romantic cruise in Hawaii. Then I met my girl Zendaya on board. She was shaking her ass and playing with her penis. Then she asked me, "Hey, you wanna make love in the cabin?" I said, "Sure, sweet thang," gave me her number, kissed me on the cheek. Next day she woke up because it was a romantic nightmare.
Why can't British people play chess?
Because they lost their queen.
When your baby is stillborn and you have a funeral, what song should you never play?
Alphaville - "Forever Young."
Why can't Paris play chess? Because they don't have their towers (also known as rooks).
Did you hear about the clam that could play violin?
It had excellent mussel memory.
Why didn't the drummer play?
Because he got a percussion.
Play dead, they said.
Wasn't too hard.
I've been dead inside for years.
Q: Why doesn't Jesus play hockey?
A: He hates getting nailed to the boards.
If you play the movie "Jaws" in reverse, it's a heartwarming story about a shark who gives arms and legs to disabled people.
Playing Russian roulette alone means you're bound to be a winner eventually.
What game can an emo play on their wrists without an ink pen?
Tic-tac-toe.
I saw a little boy playing alone in the street. I told him that was a bad idea, then asked for his parents.
God, orphanages are fun to work at!!
I was born and raised in Newcastle.
My grandfather used to tell me stories about Penaldo, a goblin from Portugal that travels to England when Newcastle is playing. He scores a tapin and then disappears until the next Newcastle game. I still have nightmares that he’s in our stadium.
What's the difference between soccer and a dead baby?
I don't wear steel cap boots when I play soccer.
Why can’t orphans play GTA and get five stars? Because they’re not wanted!
Why is a brick always hard? Because the Indians played with it enough.
Why can't an orphan play baseball?
They can't find home.