Play jokes
Little Johnny walked into his parents' room to see them going at it.
He asked his mom what they were doing, and she said, "Uh, we're play fighting," and he's like, "With no clothes on?"
She said, "Yeah," and so he said, "Let me join you then..."
I was born and raised in Newcastle.
My grandfather used to tell me stories about Penaldo, a goblin from Portugal that travels to England when Newcastle is playing. He scores a tapin and then disappears until the next Newcastle game. I still have nightmares that he’s in our stadium.
What's the difference between soccer and a dead baby?
I don't wear steel cap boots when I play soccer.
Why can’t orphans play baseball?
Because they can’t run home.
Why is a brick always hard? Because the Indians played with it enough.
Memes
just follow me please one more im at 50
Why can’t orphans play GTA and get five stars? Because they’re not wanted!
What do you call an injured person who doesn't want to play a game with you? A sore loser.
Why do orphans play GTA?
Because they need to know what it’s like to be wanted.
Did you hear about the clam that could play violin?
It had excellent mussel memory.
Why didn't the drummer play?
Because he got a percussion.
How do clarinet players play a song?
They reed their music.
Play dead, they said.
Wasn't too hard.
I've been dead inside for years.
What has 2 legs and loves to play with little kids? The local priest.
Why can't British people play chess?
Because they lost their queen.
How are boobs and toys similar?
Both were originally made for kids, but dads usually end up playing with them.
Why can't Paris play chess? Because they don't have their towers (also known as rooks).
When your baby is stillborn and you have a funeral, what song should you never play?
Alphaville - "Forever Young."
I played Kobe Bryant on 2k14, but my console somehow kept crashing.
Why do orphans play GTA?
To be wanted.
Why do orphanages give out free phones?
So you can press the home button.
Where did Sally go during the bombing? Everywhere.
Your mama is so fat that when she was playing online, she crashed the whole server.