Play jokes
Q: Why doesn't Jesus play hockey?
A: He hates getting nailed to the boards.
I was born and raised in Newcastle.
My grandfather used to tell me stories about Penaldo, a goblin from Portugal that travels to England when Newcastle is playing. He scores a tapin and then disappears until the next Newcastle game. I still have nightmares that he’s in our stadium.
What's the difference between soccer and a dead baby?
I don't wear steel cap boots when I play soccer.
Playing Russian roulette alone means you're bound to be a winner eventually.
Why can't an orphan play baseball?
They don't know where home is.
saddest youtube comment :(
Little Johnny walked into his parents' room to see them going at it.
He asked his mom what they were doing, and she said, "Uh, we're play fighting," and he's like, "With no clothes on?"
She said, "Yeah," and so he said, "Let me join you then..."
Why can't an orphan play baseball?
They can't find home.
I saw a little boy playing alone in the street. I told him that was a bad idea, then asked for his parents.
God, orphanages are fun to work at!!
If you play the movie "Jaws" in reverse, it's a heartwarming story about a shark who gives arms and legs to disabled people.
What game can an emo play on their wrists without an ink pen?
Tic-tac-toe.
Why do orphans play GTA?
Because they need to know what it’s like to be wanted.
Why can’t orphans play baseball?
Because they can’t run home.
Why can’t orphans play GTA and get five stars? Because they’re not wanted!
Why is a brick always hard? Because the Indians played with it enough.
What do you call an injured person who doesn't want to play a game with you? A sore loser.
Did you hear about the clam that could play violin?
It had excellent mussel memory.
Why can't British people play chess?
Because they lost their queen.
Why can't Paris play chess? Because they don't have their towers (also known as rooks).
What has 2 legs and loves to play with little kids? The local priest.
When your baby is stillborn and you have a funeral, what song should you never play?
Alphaville - "Forever Young."