Play jokes
What has 2 legs and loves to play with little kids? The local priest.
Why can't British people play chess?
Because they lost their queen.
When your baby is stillborn and you have a funeral, what song should you never play?
Alphaville - "Forever Young."
What's the difference between soccer and a dead baby?
I don't wear steel cap boots when I play soccer.
Q: Why doesn't Jesus play hockey?
A: He hates getting nailed to the boards.
just follow me please one more im at 50
Why can't an orphan play baseball?
They can't find home.
Little Johnny walked into his parents' room to see them going at it.
He asked his mom what they were doing, and she said, "Uh, we're play fighting," and he's like, "With no clothes on?"
She said, "Yeah," and so he said, "Let me join you then..."
If you play the movie "Jaws" in reverse, it's a heartwarming story about a shark who gives arms and legs to disabled people.
Why can't an orphan play baseball?
They don't know where home is.
What game can an emo play on their wrists without an ink pen?
Tic-tac-toe.
Why is a brick always hard? Because the Indians played with it enough.
I was born and raised in Newcastle.
My grandfather used to tell me stories about Penaldo, a goblin from Portugal that travels to England when Newcastle is playing. He scores a tapin and then disappears until the next Newcastle game. I still have nightmares that he’s in our stadium.
How do clarinet players play a song?
They reed their music.
Playing Russian roulette alone means you're bound to be a winner eventually.
I saw a little boy playing alone in the street. I told him that was a bad idea, then asked for his parents.
God, orphanages are fun to work at!!
Why can’t orphans play baseball?
Because they can’t run home.
What do you call an injured person who doesn't want to play a game with you? A sore loser.
Why do orphans play GTA?
Because they need to know what it’s like to be wanted.
Why didn't the drummer play?
Because he got a percussion.
Did you hear about the clam that could play violin?
It had excellent mussel memory.