Play jokes
I was such an ugly kid. When I played in the sandbox, the cat kept covering me up.
I saw a little boy playing alone in the street. I told him that was a bad idea, then asked for his parents.
God, orphanages are fun to work at!!
Did you hear about the clam that could play violin?
It had excellent mussel memory.
Why can’t orphans play baseball?
Because they can’t run home.
Why is a brick always hard? Because the Indians played with it enough.
Memes
What's the difference between soccer and a dead baby?
I don't wear steel cap boots when I play soccer.
I was born and raised in Newcastle.
My grandfather used to tell me stories about Penaldo, a goblin from Portugal that travels to England when Newcastle is playing. He scores a tapin and then disappears until the next Newcastle game. I still have nightmares that he’s in our stadium.
Why can’t orphans play GTA and get five stars? Because they’re not wanted!
What do you call an injured person who doesn't want to play a game with you? A sore loser.
Why do orphans play GTA?
Because they need to know what it’s like to be wanted.
When your baby is stillborn and you have a funeral, what song should you never play?
Alphaville - "Forever Young."
Play dead, they said.
Wasn't too hard.
I've been dead inside for years.
Why didn't the drummer play?
Because he got a percussion.
How do clarinet players play a song?
They reed their music.
How are boobs and toys similar?
Both were originally made for kids, but dads usually end up playing with them.
I played Kobe Bryant on 2k14, but my console somehow kept crashing.
Why do orphans play GTA?
To be wanted.
Why do orphanages give out free phones?
So you can press the home button.
Fancy playing rodeo sex?
"OK then," she said!
Then put your dick in her ass and say it’s not as tight as your sister’s ass and hold on for dear life... real life cow bow boy shit!
Where did Sally go during the bombing? Everywhere.
Your mama is so fat that when she was playing online, she crashed the whole server.
Son: Hey Dad, can I play Fortnite?
Dad: I don't know, do you want a girlfriend?