Plane jokes

Hey man, I was gonna tell a joke about 9/11, but it was just plane.

"Learn to fly a plane," they said. "It'll be fun," they said...

I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandpa, not screaming in terror like all the passengers on the plane he was flying.

My dad died in 9/11, and that was the second worst thing that happened to me with a plane, next to Soul Plane.

What did the Twin Towers order for dinner?

Two large planes.

Q: What did the terrorist say during a plane flight? A: “Wow! This flight is the bomb!”

This is a 2 for 1 plane combo that will never exist.

But, it's like a plane pizza.

Nothing happens, but it terrorizes me.

Three disabled guys (a blind man, an amputee, and a guy in a wheelchair) are flying back with the USA team from the Paralympic games in the Middle East when their plane crashes in the Sahara Desert. The three disabled guys (the only survivors) are now stranded and wait for someone to rescue them, but no one showed. They start to get real thirsty, so they decide to seek out water. The amputee leads the way, with the blind man pushing the guy in the wheelchair; and, eventually they find an oasis. The amputee leader goes into the water first, cools himself down, drinks a load of water, walks out the other side and lo and behold, he has a NEW LEG! He gets excited and encourages his friends to do the same.

The blind man offers to push the guy in the wheelchair, but he gets refused because the guy in the chair wants to be Mr. Independent and insists the blind man goes ahead first. So he goes into the water, cools himself down, drinks a load of water, walks out the other side and lo and behold, he can SEE! Now the guy in the wheelchair's getting really excited, starts pushing with all his might, goes into the water, cools himself down, drinks a load of water, and wheels out the other side. Lo and behold, NEW TIRES!!!

There once were 3 men on an airplane and one bit into an apple and said, "This is disgusting!" and threw it out the window. The 2nd man bit into a banana and said, "This is rotten!" and he threw it out the window. The 3rd man bit into a bomb and screamed, "ALL MY TEETH FELL OUT!" and he threw it out the window.

Meanwhile, on the ground, a police officer was walking and he saw a kid crying and he went up to him and asked him why he was crying. He replied, "An apple came flying out of the sky and hit me on the head!" The police officer said, "That is weird," and kept on walking. Then he saw another kid crying and the police officer asked, "Why are you crying?" and he answered, "A banana came flying out of the sky and hit me on the head!" The officer said, "This has been a strange day." Then he sees a kid laughing and he asked why he was laughing and he said, while he was laughing, "My dad farted and the house blew up!"

What did the airplane say to the paper plane? Why do you look like a wimp?

I was confused when they asked me, "Do you know how to fly a plane?" Then, when I said, "No," they said, "Perfect!"

I see a kid crying in the park, right? So I go up to him and say, "Hey, where are your parents?" and he says, "Well, my dad left to get the milk and never came back, and my mother died in a plane crash in the Bermuda Triangle."

I'm having lunch on the roof of the Twin Towers, and the biggest plane I've ever seen is flying toward...

What did the twin tower say to the other?

"I need to catch this plane."

Why did the plane crash?

Because it was being flown by a loaf of bread.

A man says, "I'm flying!" He realizes he was pushed out of a plane.

Why were the Twin Towers mad? They ordered pepperoni pizza, and all they got was plane.

My dad is Al-Qaeda, and he even took a plane trip to New York in 2001.

Why were the people during 9/11 mad because they ordered pepperoni sandwiches, but they got two planes?

Chuck Norris sneezed and sent 2 planes flying... on September 11, 2001.