Plane Jokes

There once were 3 men on an airplane and one bit into an apple and said, "This is disgusting!" and threw it out the window. The 2nd man bit into a banana and said, "This is rotten!" and he threw it out the window. The 3rd man bit into a bomb and screamed, "ALL MY TEETH FELL OUT!" and he threw it out the window.

Meanwhile, on the ground, a police officer was walking and he saw a kid crying and he went up to him and asked him why he was crying. He replied, "An apple came flying out of the sky and hit me on the head!" The police officer said, "That is weird," and kept on walking. Then he saw another kid crying and the police officer asked, "Why are you crying?" and he answered, "A banana came flying out of the sky and hit me on the head!" The officer said, "This has been a strange day." Then he sees a kid laughing and he asked why he was laughing and he said, while he was laughing, "My dad farted and the house blew up!"

What did the airplane say to the paper plane? Why do you look like a wimp?

Three disabled guys (a blind man, an amputee, and a guy in a wheelchair) are flying back with the USA team from the Paralympic games in the Middle East when their plane crashes in the Sahara Desert. The three disabled guys (the only survivors) are now stranded and wait for someone to rescue them, but no one showed. They start to get real thirsty, so they decide to seek out water. The amputee leads the way, with the blind man pushing the guy in the wheelchair; and, eventually they find an oasis. The amputee leader goes into the water first, cools himself down, drinks a load of water, walks out the other side and lo and behold, he has a NEW LEG! He gets excited and encourages his friends to do the same.

The blind man offers to push the guy in the wheelchair, but he gets refused because the guy in the chair wants to be Mr. Independent and insists the blind man goes ahead first. So he goes into the water, cools himself down, drinks a load of water, walks out the other side and lo and behold, he can SEE! Now the guy in the wheelchair's getting really excited, starts pushing with all his might, goes into the water, cools himself down, drinks a load of water, and wheels out the other side. Lo and behold, NEW TIRES!!!

I'm having lunch on the roof of the Twin Towers, and the biggest plane I've ever seen is flying toward...

I see a kid crying in the park, right? So I go up to him and say, "Hey, where are your parents?" and he says, "Well, my dad left to get the milk and never came back, and my mother died in a plane crash in the Bermuda Triangle."

A man says, "I'm flying!" He realizes he was pushed out of a plane.

I don't like 9/11 jokes because they always talk about how bad of a plane driver my dad is.

Why did the plane crash?

Because it was being flown by a loaf of bread.

Why were the Twin Towers mad? They ordered pepperoni pizza, and all they got was plane.

My dad is Al-Qaeda, and he even took a plane trip to New York in 2001.

Why were the people during 9/11 mad because they ordered pepperoni sandwiches, but they got two planes?

Why can orphans never go to the shops?

'Cause the Talibans will plane dive into them.

Are you a plane? Because I wanna be in control of you for a few hours.

You know how there were like... two towers. I had so much fun playing Jenga in those planes! I WON!!!!!

I beat up my twin friends with a plane.

Give a man a plane ticket, and he’ll fly for a day.

Push a man from a plane, and he’ll fly for the rest of his life.

Q: What did the terrorist say during a plane flight? A: “Wow! This flight is the bomb!”

Chuck Norris sneezed and sent 2 planes flying... on September 11, 2001.

I told my friend to fly a plane,

But he threw a ramp off a roof.

A plane is about to crash into the ocean, and the passengers are freaking out.

A woman stands up, takes off her clothes, and says, "Before I go, is there a man man enough to make me feel like a woman?"

A man stands up, takes off his shirt, and says, "Here, iron this!"