Place jokes
Wade, you're a joke. The worst joke.
Hoped this would be a safer, more fun place to talk to my BP friends, but I guess not.
I've also learned that some people think "worst jokes ever" = "terrible unfunny jokes that make light of people who died horribly or otherwise suffered" instead of things like "why did the chicken cross the road?"-type jokes.
Maybe I'm just too old at this point.
Pilot: So Kobe, it seems like you’re not going to make it to your destination in time, so I’m going to put it on autopilot so I can find a place to fill with gas.
Kobe: Take us to the side of that mountain at full speed. I don’t really want to go to the event anymore.
Husband: Dammit, Alice! I'm your husband, and I'm telling you that you better stay in this kitchen if you know what's good for you!
Wife: Go to hell, Bob! I'm leaving!
Ignoring my protective advice, Alice stormed out of our underground kitchen, even though it was the safest place to be while the nuclear war still raged outside.
I was doing some karate the other day at the studio.
They kicked me out because I was doing “kungi fui.”
I know a lot of people hate tapeworms, but they will always have a special place in my heart.
Guy: Whose place? Mine or yours?
Girl: Both. You go to yours, and I'll go to mine.
Your mom is so fat that when she went on top of one of the Twin Towers, it collapsed.
What’s an autistic person's favorite movie:
A Quiet Place?
Yo mama so stupid that she thought Subway was a place where you buy subways.
What's the difference between the Twin Towers and an emo bitch?
The Twin Towers hit the ground.
Roses are red, violets are blue, a face like yours belongs in a place worse than a zoo.
What is the difference between hungry and horny?
The cucumber goes to different places.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Island.
Island who?
Island the one that knows you!
Where's the best place to hide a body? In the second page of Google search results.
What is the difference between genders and the Twin Towers?
They used to be two, now it's a touchy subject.
Johnny Depp to a 15-year-old girl: "Wow, look at that sexy body! Savvy!"
Michael Jackson, when talking about a 6-year-old boy: "The boy is mine! That doggone boy is mine! Don't waste your time...."
Donald Trump, Bill Clinton, and Jeffrey Epstein entering and exclaiming, "Wow, this place is more fun than the Playboy Mansion!"
I saw a man. I saw another man. And I saw another. Where am I? Comment below.
What's Peter Pan's favorite place to eat out?
Wendy's?
What does WTC stand for?
"What Trade Centre?"
A Catholic gay male that is well-endowed goes to confession, and while he is inside the confessional booth, the Catholic priest is sucking his dick, and he says to the Catholic priest, "What are you doing, Father?"
And the priest says, "It's called giving a blowjob."
And the Catholic gay male says, "Why are you giving me a blowjob, Father, inside the confessional booth?"
And the Catholic priest says, "If there was no glory hole in the confessional booth, my son, it would not be called a confessional booth in the first place."