Pilot jokes

You: "Captain, where is this plane going?"

Captain: "New York, 175 Greenwich Street."

I didn't get the joke at first, then it hit me like a plane.

When I called the suicide hotline in Afghanistan, they got all excited and asked if I could fly a plane.

When Kobe's pilot hit the mountain, he said, "Kobe."

Why did the people in 9/11 not call 911? Because it would call the pilots.

I heard some twin brothers were going as buildings to the school costume contest, so I went as a plane. It didn't fly too well with people.

My dad died in the attacks. He was the best pilot for Pakistan.

I don't joke about 9/11 because I lost my dad. He was the best pilot I ever knew.

People joking about 9/11.

Random kid: "You shouldn’t joke about that! I lost my dad on 9/11."

Oh.

"Yeah, he was the greatest pilot ever!"

There were 3 blonde scientists...wait that’s not the joke. The first one said “we are going to pilot the first unmanned spacecraft to land on the sun.”

The second one said “but we can’t do that - if we get within 5 feet of the sun we’ll freeze to death!”

The third blonde says “so we go at night.”

There was a plane crash. The pilot's names were Captain Sum Ting Wong, Wi Tu Lo, Ho Lee Fuk, and Bang Ding Ow.

We shouldn't joke about major tragedies. My dad died in 9/11, he was Saudi Arabia's best pilot.

I know a good airplane joke, but it would probably go over your heads.

The twin towers: No, it won't.

Are you a plane? Because I wanna be in control of you for a few hours.

What did the bomber say to the jet?

"Sorry bro, I gotta bomb."

*WAIT NO-*

How old are 9/11 victims?

"There, toddlers, here come the airplane!"

My dad died in 9/11. He was the best pilot.

They asked JFK Jr. if he wanted to shower before his flight. He said, "No, I'll just wash up on shore!"

This is a 2 for 1 plane combo that will never exist.

But, it's like a plane pizza.

Nothing happens, but it terrorizes me.

Why couldn't an eagle do a barrel roll? It's oblivious, it's il-eagle.