I'm no astronomer, but I’m pretty sure the Earth revolves around the sun... not you.
One day I threw a boomerang...
Now I live in constant fear.
Presidents are normal, physically.
Biden: Trips over a f***ing stair.
What's the biggest problem with gravity?
It keeps putting people down.
Q: What do you call a boomerang that is not coming back? A: A stick.
Stephen Hawking shows up to a car meet-up.
Yo momma so fat that she don't need a backpack. She keeps her things in her Lagrangian points.
Where does the resistor go after a long day?
It goes Ohm.
What’s better than Stephen Hawking?
Stephen walking.
Ur mum is so fat that when she lived in a flat on the highest floor, she fell through the inner floor.
I would tell you a science joke, but I know I won't get a reaction.
When Stephen Hawking was asked why he was instantly attracted to his new girlfriend, he said, "It's simple, she pushes all the right buttons."
What was Stephen Hawking's favorite TV show?
Robot Wars.
Just a joke: When Stephen Hawking fell over and hurt his leg, his dad said, "It'll get better, just walk it off!"
Knock knock...
Who's there?
Not Stephen Hawking.
What falls to the ground first if an apple and an emo kid fall from a tree?
The apple because the rope caught the emo kid.
When Ant-Man is the size of an atom, how can he breathe?
What's the difference between a bird and a kid on the roof?
The bird can fly off the roof.
Balls are annoying. They just bounce and never keep still.
What hits the ground first, the feather or the emo?
The feather, because the emo is hung in the tree.
