Physics jokes
What’s the difference between a doctor and a pedophile?
The doctor doesn’t enjoy giving physicals.
Stephen Hawking walks into a bar. Oh, wait, he doesn’t walk.
What's Stephen Hawking's wife called? Wendy.
Did you hear that Stephen Hawking wrote a new book? It's called "Around The House in Eighty Days."
What is Stephen Hawking's favorite lunch? Eggs and shoulders.
What's Stephen Hawking's favorite meal?
His shoulder.
What did the atom say to the positive in math class? "We could make a positive number!"
It's funny how Stephen Hawking sounds like Stephen walking or Stephen talking, but he can't do any of those things.
Who's never the last man standing?
Stephen Hawking.
Why did the toilet paper roll down the hill?
Because of gravity.
Stephen Hawking is a real stand up guy, out-standing performance.
you.
Where was Stephen Hawking during the house fire?
The top of the stairs.
I tried to catch air once... I mist.
Stephen Hawking walks into a b... nevermind.
What do skeletons hate the most about wind?
Nothing, it goes right through them.
Two atoms are walking down the street, and they run into each other. One says to the other, "Are you all right?" "No, I lost an electron!" "Are you sure?" "Yeah, I’m positive!"
What did the neutrino say to the planet?
"Just passing through."
Why is Stephen Hawking a bad role model? -- He doesn't stand for anything.
An atom loses an electron... It says, "Man, I really gotta keep an ion them."