Physics jokes
It's weird how Stephen Hawking's last name sounds like "walking and talking," but he could not do either of those!
If Stephen Hawking got into a fight, he could not stand up for himself.
"Knock, knock." "Who's there?" "Not Stephen Hawking."
Why did Stephen Hawking roll across the road?
Because he had amyotrophic lateral sclerosis.
I was both shocked and amazed to hear Stephen Hawking kicked the bucket.
Stephen Hawking died because his wife misunderstood him when he said, "My Windows Needs Updating." She had the double glazing removed, and he fell out and died.
In a cruel twist of irony, Stephen Hawking's favorite song was "I've Got the Power."
What is Hawking's number one song? The Beach Boys: "I Get Around."
Who is Stephen Hawking?
What did Stephen Hawking say on the stairway to heaven?
Oh, fuck! I can’t get up them.
What is Stephen Hawking's favorite type of basketball?
Dribble.
Stephen Hawking isn't really dead, he's just rebooting.
Guess Stephen's batteries died.
He's dead now.
How did Stephen Hawking die?
He had a computer virus!
Don't trust the atoms, because they make up everything.
Q. Why is Stephen Hawking so good at air guitar?
A. Because he has excellent string theory.
A guy is at home and he's about to go get a physical at the doctor's office. When he gets there, the doctor says, "Brian, you're going to have to stop masturbating." He asked the doc why? The doc said, "So I can examine you!"
Why did the man fall off his bike?
Because someone threw a refrigerator at him.
What's black and sits at the top of the stairs?
Stephen Hawking in a house fire.