Physics jokes
When Stephen Hawking was feeling hungry, he used to call in to his local PC World for a megabyte and some microchips.
Why is Stephen Hawking good at skateboarding? Because he's always on the ramps.
Stephen Hawking couldn't take the stairway to Heaven, he had to take the lift.
What’s made of wood and is zig zag shaped?
Stephen Hawking's coffin.
Stephen Hawking was one of the best scientists ever. Now he's walking up the steps of he... No, he's not walking up the steps of heaven.
What's black and at the top of a staircase?
Not Stephen Hawking.
For Stephen Hawking, why is being drunk and having his power shut out the same?
He blacks out.
What did Stephen Hawking's wife say to him when he came home drunk?
Nothing... she couldn't tell.
Steven Hawking died. I said, "Why? Did his wheelchair break?"
It's weird how Stephen Hawking's last name sounds like "walking and talking," but he could not do either of those!
If Stephen Hawking got into a fight, he could not stand up for himself.
"Knock, knock." "Who's there?" "Not Stephen Hawking."
Why did Stephen Hawking roll across the road?
Because he had amyotrophic lateral sclerosis.
I was both shocked and amazed to hear Stephen Hawking kicked the bucket.
Stephen Hawking died because his wife misunderstood him when he said, "My Windows Needs Updating." She had the double glazing removed, and he fell out and died.
In a cruel twist of irony, Stephen Hawking's favorite song was "I've Got the Power."
What is Hawking's number one song? The Beach Boys: "I Get Around."
Who is Stephen Hawking?
What did Stephen Hawking say on the stairway to heaven?
Oh, fuck! I can’t get up them.
What is Stephen Hawking's favorite type of basketball?
Dribble.