Physics jokes

Fineman, Einstein, and Schrodinger walked into a bar.

Fineman says, "It appears we're inside a joke."

Einstein says, "But only to an observer who saw us walk in simultaneously."

To which Schrodinger says, "If someone's looking through the window, I'm leaving!"

Stephen Hawking: one hp (Fortnite)

Why did Stephen Hawking fall over?

'Cause he had a screw loose!

Fuck people who are bigger than me physically, emotionally, mentally, economically, and socially.

Why is a ball rolling when you put it on a hill?

Because it is circle.

The Big Bang happened 16.8 billion years ago, and matter cannot be created or destroyed. Therefore, we are all technically 16.8 billion years old. So, to answer your question, officer, yes, she is of age.

My wife said she wanted to leave me. She said it’s because of the abuse, but really, she’s the one abusing herself by drinking alcohol and got poisoning the next day. This shows almost half of the woman’s population is weak both physically and mentally.

Stephen Hawking walks into a bar. Oh wait...

Towing ropes can't be learned. They must be taut.

What has two wheels and goes really fast?

A vegetable down a hill.

Why did Stephen Hawking not believe in God?

Computers don’t really have a specific religion.

1 "Knock knock."

2 "Who's there?"

1 "Interrupting physicist."

2 "Interrupting who?"

1 "Muon!!!"

Well, if Stephen Hawking likes black holes so much, why did he call security when I put my hole on his face?

I love Stephen Hawking jokes so much because they roll off the tongue so nicely.

The reason I love Stephen Hawking is because they roll off the tongue so nicely.

One day I threw a boomerang...

Now I live in constant fear.

Q: What do you call a boomerang that is not coming back? A: A stick.

What's the difference between a school shooting pistol and a baked potato? The physical composition, of course, but they both pack the same heat.

What's the difference between Isaac Newton and the baby I just stabbed?

Isaac Newton died a virgin.

Your forehead's so big that it has its own gravitational pull.