Physics jokes
My wife said she wanted to leave me. She said it’s because of the abuse, but really, she’s the one abusing herself by drinking alcohol and got poisoning the next day. This shows almost half of the woman’s population is weak both physically and mentally.
Stephen Hawking walks into a bar. Oh wait...
Towing ropes can't be learned. They must be taut.
What has two wheels and goes really fast?
A vegetable down a hill.
Why did Stephen Hawking not believe in God?
Computers don’t really have a specific religion.
1 "Knock knock."
2 "Who's there?"
1 "Interrupting physicist."
2 "Interrupting who?"
1 "Muon!!!"
Well, if Stephen Hawking likes black holes so much, why did he call security when I put my hole on his face?
I love Stephen Hawking jokes so much because they roll off the tongue so nicely.
The reason I love Stephen Hawking is because they roll off the tongue so nicely.
One day I threw a boomerang...
Now I live in constant fear.
Q: What do you call a boomerang that is not coming back? A: A stick.
What's the difference between a school shooting pistol and a baked potato? The physical composition, of course, but they both pack the same heat.
What's the difference between Isaac Newton and the baby I just stabbed?
Isaac Newton died a virgin.
Your forehead's so big that it has its own gravitational pull.
I like balls.
I threw my boomerang and now I live in constant fear.
What do priests and doctors have in common?
They both do physicals on kids.
Why don't scientists trust atoms?
Because they make up everything!
It's so sad that Stephen Hawking has a whole category on here about him and he can't stand up for himself.
Yo forehead so large, it has its own gravitational pull.