I was watching the local chief police in America, he said, "We will never forget 911." I thought, "I should hope not, it's your phone number."
Me, trying to interact with people: “Hey, are you a rope? Because I really wanna HANG with you.”
Person I’m talking to: *Pulling out phone to call suicide hotline* “haha what.”
1. My phone battery lasts longer than your relationships.
2. Oh, you’re talking to me? I thought you only talked behind my back.
3. My name must taste good because it’s always in your mouth.
I was working in an iPhone store in Norwich when a man came! He said, "Give me a hat-trick or I will destroy your store!" I said, "No," and he started to smash phones! I immediately screamed, "Important game!" and he disappeared! Shame on you, Penaldo, for ruining my store! 😡😡
Someone butt-dialed me again yesterday. It seems that only assholes want to speak to me.
Yo mama so fat, I stood next to her and lost cell phone reception.
Yo mama is so fat, that when I unfollowed her on Instagram, my phone got 1 GB of storage.
What's the difference between a phone and a girl? You can turn it off whenever you want.
Why are Indians such good actors
Most of them are phone scammers
My phone battery lasts longer than your relationships.
Horror movies don't scare me. 5 missed calls from my mum scares me.
Just got an iPhone 12 for my brother, best trade I've ever made.
People be like: "What happened to Fruit Ninja? It was on your phone."
Me: "I upgraded, now I can play on my pro max thigh/wrists."
I'm so depressed that when I smile my Face ID won't work.
Someone who was working in the tower must've put their phone on plane mode.
What do you call a bus full of transgender men? T-Mobile.
Little Johnny tried phone sex, but the holes were too small.
Three people died and went to Hell. One of them is from America, the second guy is from Germany, and the third guy is from Afghanistan. The devil lets each person make a phone call to their loved ones in the country they came from, but they will be charged. The American spends 10 minutes on the phone and is charged $20. The German spends 12 minutes on the phone and is charged $24. The man from Afghanistan spends half an hour on the phone and is charged nothing. The other two guys asked the devil why. The devil responded: "Local calls are free."
I was setting a voice recognition password for my new phone, and a dog nearby barked and ran away. Now I'm still looking for that dog to unlock my phone.
The woman saw a cute lookin' cop. She had pulled up right next to him and said, "Hey, can I get your number?" He said, "Yeah, it's 911," and drove off.
