Pet

Pet jokes

Woman

    • A woman brought her hamster to the vet. The vet takes a look and concludes the hamster died.

    The woman doesn't believe it and requests further investigation. So the vet lets in a Labrador. The dog sniffs around the hamster and shortly after he produces a sad whine, shakes his head and leaves the room with his tail low.

    The woman, still not convinced, demands more examinations. The vet gets one of his cats. It walks around the hamster and pets it. After some time it shakes her head and runs off quickly.

    "Fine, I believe you now," the woman says, "my beloved hamster is dead." "I'm sorry for your loss," the vet replies. "Your bill for this visit will be 1505 dollars," says the vet. "What? 1505 dollars just to tell me my hamster is dead?" The woman says shocked.

    The vet replies: "No, 5 dollars to tell your hamster died, 500 dollars for the lab report and 1000 dollars for the CAT scan."

  • 3

    • Dog

    • I named my dog "5 miles" so I could say I walk 5 miles each day.

    But today I ran OVER 5 miles... oops!

    Dog

    • My mom told me that my friend Paul is coming over, and he is going to sleep over, so I was happy.

    The next day, I ask my mom, "Where's the dog?" My mom asks me, "What dog?"

    Then I said to my mom, "I heard Paul say, 'Do you want it doggy?' and you said 'Yeah.'"

  • 1
    • Pet memes

    Cat

    • Q: If a cat says to a dog, "All dogs are liars," and the dog says to the cat, "All cats are liars," what does it mean?

    A: It means cats and dogs can talk.

  • 1

    • Dog

    • What do you call a dog with no legs?

    It doesn’t matter what you call it; it won’t come to you.

    Fish

    • I have a fish that can breakdance!

    Only for 20 seconds though, and only once.

  • 5

    • Dog

    • What do you call a dog with no legs?

    It doesn’t matter; it ain’t coming to you.

    Dog

    • I named my dog "5 miles" so I could say I ran five miles today. I ran over 5 miles.