Pet jokes
My dogs pooped in my shoes? Pooper.
Sometimes I am happy, and there are times I envy my dog.
I named my dog Stone so that I can say to people that I throw stones every day.
I named my cousin's parrot Michell, and then I started to call Mikey "Mikey", right? I'm starting to teach my cousin Sammy how to say "Mikey Mikey" and he says "mekiy meiky" π
What do you call a deaf dog? As you like, he doesn't hear you anyway.
Memes
My son asked for a swimming pool so I got him a ant πππ pool.
A family put their kid and their dog in an orphanage but came back for only the dog.
Ur adopted.
A teenage girl got a summer job dogsitting for a gigantic English Mastiff. She spent hours with the dog, and walked a little funny when she got home.
"What are you doing all day?"
"Knot a lot."
The other day my girlfriend asked me to hand her the red lipstick, so I handed her the dog.
Q: What's the similarity between a dog and a bed?
A: I can jump on my bed. A: And I use a pillow on both of them.
I love my dog and all dogs.
Why was the dog so stressed out?
It had a ruff day.
Does your cat scratch you?
Yeah, I need [to] give him payback, but now he won't respond.
My dog got mad at me for touching his toy. He said, "Get your paws off my toy!"
Dad: Hey, uh... you're adopted.
Dog: *frown*
I canβt take my dog to the park anymore.
Why?
The ducks keep trying to eat him.
Why would they do that?
Because heβs pure-bread.
You know, you should adopt a pet. So then you can feel the pain that your parents felt when they adopted you... wait... also the regret after.
I can't take my dog to the pond anymore because the ducks keep attacking him. That's what I get for buying a pure bred dog.
Hi, I...
Sorry, my cat touched my computer. I don't know how to delete.
The joke is that if you take a cap off a bottle, is it decapitation?
Sorry guys, it's a hard word to spell.