Pet jokes
Why couldn't the annoying dog get on Papyrus's nerves?
HE'S A SKELETON. HE DOESN'T HAVE ANY.
I can’t take my dog to the park anymore.
Why?
The ducks keep trying to eat him.
Why would they do that?
Because he’s pure-bread.
I can't take my dog to the pond anymore because the ducks keep attacking him. That's what I get for buying a pure bred dog.
I love my dog and all dogs.
Q: What's the similarity between a dog and a bed?
A: I can jump on my bed. A: And I use a pillow on both of them.
Why was the dog so stressed out?
It had a ruff day.
My dog got mad at me for touching his toy. He said, "Get your paws off my toy!"
Does your cat scratch you?
Yeah, I need [to] give him payback, but now he won't respond.
How do cats relieve themselves in front of people? By licking their puss.
How do cats masturbate? They lick they pussy.
Ur adopted.
A family put their kid and their dog in an orphanage but came back for only the dog.
My dogs pooped in my shoes? Pooper.
My son asked for a swimming pool so I got him a ant 🐜🐜🐜 pool.
Dad: Hey, uh... you're adopted.
Dog: *frown*
Which dog is owned by a kid called "Charlie Brown," raps, and smokes?
Snoopy Dog.
I was in class and we had to choose another term for words we use everyday. For kid, I chose "child"; for dog, I chose "pet"; and for wife, I chose "dishwasher."
Sometimes I am happy, and there are times I envy my dog.
What do you call a deaf dog? As you like, he doesn't hear you anyway.
I named my cousin's parrot Michell, and then I started to call Mikey "Mikey", right? I'm starting to teach my cousin Sammy how to say "Mikey Mikey" and he says "mekiy meiky" 😆